Being Reasonable
by Esyla
Summary: Back in England Susan grows up being reasonable rather than silly. But the course of history has already shifted and the Pevensie children are doomed to their train wreck. Aslan grants Susan a second chance at the life she never had in Narnia. Suspian.
1. Change Is The Only Constant

The only constant is change

Susan had known that leaving Narnia again would hurt. She was prepared for the daydreaming and longing. She even prepared herself to miss the handsome prince. In fact she was doing just fine. Growing up meant moving on, it meant changing. Susan was doing just that.

The first week home had been hard on all of them. Peter had gotten into twice as many fights. Lucy doodled on all her papers. Edmund had challenged half the school to chess matches and won. Susan had spent most of her time on the archery field destroying targets.

But soon it was time for all of them to move on. They needed to keep on going. So they did. Peter had a moment of clarity and realized that maybe going into politics might suit him perfectly. He had of course, immediately run to the library and gotten every book about modern and ancient politics he could get his hands on.

Lucy seemed to catch on as well and had taken up painting. She was not great yet but her improvement was astonishing. It was simply beyond what one would normally expect. All of her paintings were of Narnia, of course. They were stunning. She had an entire collection dedicated to Mr. Tumnus. Aslan was slowly taking up just as many of the paintings.

Edmund had more or less stumbled upon his path. It had been in church one day when he though a scripture passage reminded him a lot of something Aslan had once said to him. The next stop had been the library. Edmund became obsessed with comparing religions and ancient text. According to his latest research Narnia existed everywhere. Just not plainly.

Susan had taken up a less valiant or grand occupation for her time. She had continued to do what she had always done best, take care of everyone. Their mother was still having trouble. Father had returned from war different and it pained their mother so. Susan seeing this rift had stepped up. She took over most of the chores in the house and taking care of the others as much as she could. So far it appeared that her efforts might save her parents.

* * *

"Do you ever miss him?" asked Lucy.

Susan looked up from the roast she was in the middle of making. "Do I ever miss who?" Susan replied rummaging around for the salt. Where the devil had she put the salt?

"Prince, I mean King Caspian," continued Lucy as she set the table. "Do you ever miss him?"

Susan looked up mildly surprised. "Why do you ask?"

"You liked him didn't you?" Lucy looked a pinch confused. "Like how one likes a suitor." Lucy tilted her head looking very much like the subject was something that she still didn't have a full grasp on. Even with her mind older than her body Lucy continued to feel that she had not yet hit puberty.

"Something like that," replied Susan as she pushed the roast into the oven. "It's a little different. But yes I do miss him. Some times. I miss him when I miss Narnia," Susan said finally.

Lucy seemed to understand the last statement more than others. "Is that why you don't talk to any of the boys here?"

"I don't talk to boys here because they are all extremely immature and frankly I cant stand them," Susan said with a slight scoff.

"Do you think you will ever get over him?" Lucy asked sounding not like herself.

"What?" asked Susan. "What are you talking about Lu."

"Peter says the reason you don't talk to boys is because you are madly in love with Caspian and boys here don't measure up," Lucy scrunched up her face exactly in a way that showed she was quoting from memory.

Susan rolled her eyes. "I'll let you in on a secret. Don't listen to most things Peter says, most of the time he is talking for the fun of it," explained Susan to a giggling Lucy. "Secondly I am not madly in love with him." Lucy gave Susan a look that said she didn't believe this statement. "Yes, he was handsome and smart and good in battle. And he could stand up to Peter and kind and compassionate and understanding and a long list of other good qualities."

Lucy raised one eyebrow indicating she knew there was more and was waiting for it to come out.

"Fine you win. He was doubly handsome. Gloriously handsome. The stuff romances are made of. The most handsome man in the WORLD!" At this Lucy was laughing at Susan's over the top exclamation.

"So?" asked Lucy after she stopped laughing.

"So what?" replied Susan pulling potatoes out of a pot and cutting them up.

"What do you think about everything? I know Peter is still convinced he will return to Narnia so what do you think?" ask Lucy.

Susan looked up from the potatoes. This was going to take a minute. She put down her knife and wiped her hands, moving to sit down with Lucy at the table.

"Remember how you told me to have faith in Aslan." Lucy nodded her head. "Well now I do. Narnia helped me grown up Luce. I learned a lot of things about life and about myself. And true I learned what a real man should be like. And even though I feel now that no man could ever really compare I figure that now that I know Caspian I can find a man like him here. I know so many things Luce. Truth be told I too harbor hope to return, but right now there are mash potatoes with my name on them," explained an earnest Susan.

There was silence in the room for a minute as Susan went back to work. Susan did believe everything she had said. She was the sensible one. There was no use putting up a tantrum and wasting away when there was still life to be had and a family to care for. She might one day find a man like Caspian, then she would know for sure. But till then she was going to be the sensible strong one and care for her siblings.

"Susan?" asked Lucy timidly.

"Yeah Lu?"

"Every thing is going to work out," said Lucy.

"I know sweetie."

* * *

Hi guys! Thanks for reading. Okay so the next chapter will be coming tomorrow night. I named this story Being Reasonable because i feel too often that fan fictions are extremely over the top in so many ways. I want to make this story reasonable and believable. This also relates to what both main character are saying to themselves on the inside.

I also promise that Susan and Caspian will be together. My idea for this story is to try and keep true to characters and real people. Also I am working off both the books and the movie. The next chapter is going to have to relate to the end of The Last Battle.

This is because I am going to show Narnia and England in Parallel. Because of this Susan is going to be in two places at once very soon. but i want you to realize that because Aslan is all powerful this is going to be possible. Also be cause time is fluid.

If you are interested in some of my other work check out Not So Royal Behavior for some great laughs.

-E


	2. Everything Changes

Just because everything 's changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before.

* * *

The ruins of the ancient castle had always creped Caspian out as a child. Back then he had not believed in the creatures of Narnia. But he had feared the Kings and Queens of Old. Their ruined castle was something of an omen to Caspian.

As a child he had been convinced that the ruins were haunted. His teachers had spent years trying to dissuade him on the topic. But Caspian had stuck to his superstitions. All the way till the day he actually met the Kings and Queens of Old. At the time Caspian had been too busy with plans of war to realize that a part of his childhood fear had been grounded in truth. They had appeared at those ruins. He saw that King Edmund always carried a gold chess piece with him, possibly something he had found at his ancient home.

Now standing in the stop where once the ancient thrones sat Caspian could feel the whisper of the past creeping into him. He had seen drawings of Cair Paravel in its glory days. If he closed his eyes and held his breath he could see the castles back then. He could see King Edmund with his all gold chess set challenging others to matches. Lucy was running around with a fawn and appeared to be having a grand old time. High King Peter sat in a meeting with embassies from another land.

The halls were filled with light and music. The animal and other creatures ran freely and in joy. The scene turns before his eyes and he could see out to the ocean. And then he was gazing at the four thrones. All but one sat empty. Queen Susan the Gentle sat in her throne watching her siblings. There in the throne in an elegant gown she was the most beautiful woman that Caspian had ever seen.

"It misses them," came the deep thunder of Aslan's voice. Caspian turned to see the lion at his side smiling sadly. "Cair Paravel always had more magic in it that it should. It has memories. It would show you all of them if you let it."

"Are you saying what I am seeing is real?" asked Caspian.

"It was. The castle remembers its beloved rulers. It was always meant for them. It grieves their absence the way a mother misses a child," explained Aslan.

"Why can I see it?" Caspian continued to watch as Susan got up and spoke to a griffin that had just entered the room. Lucy nailed the faun with a ball and the two broke into giggles.

"You are the King of Narnia. Cair Paravel wants you to see," Aslan walked toward Peter. "In his world he would have been the greatest Prime Minister to have ever lived." Aslan said sadly.

"Would?" Caspian didn't like the hint of sadness in Aslan's voice. Aslan turned to Edmund.

"Edmund would have one day been a great theological mind. He would write twenty books. Four of them entirely about Narnia and what it has to teach the world," Aslan solemnly walked toward Lucy.

"She was going to be the greatest female painter of her time. Her work would have been highly regarded for centuries. Especially a painting of me." Aslan smiled at this comment.

"What of Queen Susan?" asked Caspian expectantly. Something was going on that Caspian had yet to grasp.

"Susan will suffer the worse. She succumbs to depression at the loss of her siblings. She will never marry. The rest of her life will be spent working as a cook for a small family and visiting her sibling's graves every day after work. She will die alone and miserable," Aslan looked pained. But it was nothing compared to the immense pain that Caspian was feeling. What in the world was Aslan talking about.

"Time, it is such a tricky thing," said Aslan looking at Caspian. "I can see it all at once. I can see everything that has happened and everything that is going to happen. I could tell you about your great grandson who will one day rule Narnia." Aslan sat down and watched the children's past play before him.

"I know all there is to know, except for one thing. I don't have the power to know a person's free will." Caspian looked at Aslan extremely stunned when he said this. "I do not have the ability to see if one person will follow the path set for them or choose another."

"So the Kings and Queens, they will die?" asked Caspian.

"Yes. When I last sent them home they were going to live happily. All of them would reach their old age. Susan would get married and have six children. Lucy would be the great painter. Edmund the brain he was meant to be. Peter would solve the world's problems and be loved by many."

"Something changed." Replied Caspian catching on slowly.

"Some one changed their mind. They acted differently. It has changed the course of history. The Pevensie children will now be on a train when it crashes. That is all but Susan."

Caspian looked shocked. This was not what he had been expecting to hear when Aslan had asked him to the ruins.

"At least that's what was supposed to happen," Aslan said solemnly turning to watch Queen Susan challenge a faun to an archery match.

"Are you to say that things have changed again?" Caspian was having trouble keeping up.

"I am to say that I underestimated Susan. When I first saw this change in the future she had changed. Leaving Narnia killed a small part of her. She became petty. It was her way of trying to forget the pain of losing Narnia." Aslan got up and walked over to where Susan was standing. He sat in front of her. Caspian followed getting the feeling that now was not the time to ask questions.

"She was always the wildcard," Aslan said in a voice that showed he truly cared for the Queen. "Lucy was the easiest to predict. She doesn't change much. Peter is almost set in stone the way he acts. Edmund can change but he seems predictable as well. Susan, her path changes so often I feel that I may never truly know her future."

"Is there something I am supposed to understand?" ask Caspian as he watched the Queen take another perfect shot.

"Susan did some thing I never expected her to do so soon. She grew up. It changes everything. She is responsible now; she won't be off at a friend's house the day of the train crash. She will be on that train with her family. She will die with them." Caspian sensed a But coming.

Aslan finally turned and looked out at the sea. "I am sure most of this doesn't make sense." Caspian shrugged slightly. "I am trying to explain all of this for a reason."

Caspian looked out at the great ocean. Standing here, seeing the past and hearing the future he felt that he had no right to speak the thousands of questions his mind was filled with.

"I can see all the possibilities," started Aslan. "I can see what would have happened if I left them stay last time. I made the decision to send them home. If they had stayed Lucy would have never painted and Edmund would miss the day of school where he found his calling. I picked their futures over the one I saw for Susan here."

"She alone stood to gain more in Narnia than the others. Her future here would always be greater than that of any of her possibilities at home. But I choose the future of countless others who were tied to Lucy and Edmund."

"And now my choice will not even matter. No one will ever look upon Lucy's paintings, because she will never get a chance to paint them. Edmund will never right his books. All of the people whose lives would have been changed by the book will never get their wake up call. All because one man will choose to drink alcohol while driving a train."

Caspian turned and looked at Aslan. It was hard to grasp the situation. He knew that the lion was all powerful but he did not fully understand all this talk of time. Of the future and the past. He was completely out of his element. Aslan sighed.

"What I am trying to say is I made a mistake. I choose wrong. And I intend to fix it." Aslan turned to look at Caspian. "In two years Queen Susan will appear here in Cair Paravel standing in front of her throne. She will be covered in cuts and mostly likely screaming Peter's name." Caspian looked shocked. "I am afraid he will die pushing her out of the way of a hunk of twisted metal before I can bring her back."

"You need to be here when she arrives," Aslan said staring at Caspian. He could feel something click in his head. His mind was finally grasping what was happening. The course of time and history had changed by two things, a choice Aslan had made and one choice of a man in another world. All of history would suffer. Aslan had seen it and he knew that his choice had done more than he could fix, even with all his power. Aslan was making up for his mistake by offering Susan a second life.

"If I may be so bold to ask, why only Susan? Could you not bring all of them back," Caspian asked.

"No. Peter must die now that history has changed. He is needed in the new ending. Lucy as well. Edmund I could bring, his absence would not be felt as hard. But the truth is he has no path here. The only path that ever existed in Narnia was for Susan. The others always truly belonged in England. It was where they had the most work to do. Susan seemed to have no path there but their supporter." Aslan smiled.

"If the train wreck had not been moved into their path she would have had a very simple life. She would be the one Peter would call when he needed advise on the government. She would take Lucy out to tea when her paintings were not going right. Edmund would live next to her all his life writing his great novels. She would have married a very nice man," Aslan turned to Caspian again. "He is very much like you; he would have made Susan very happy. But beyond that her path held no real influence. Only here does she have the option to be something great." Aslan said finally.

"What am I to do then?" Caspian asked. Aslan looked back at the memory playing. He smiled sadly at the Pevensie children.

"Restore Cair Paravel for her. She will be older by several years," Aslan looked at Caspian. "Then again so will you. Take care of her. Help her."

Caspian nodded. "Will I see you again?" Aslan turned to go.

"You will see me when she is finally healed of her grief. Expect me then." Aslan said as he walked away into the forest. Caspian watched the lion go never removing his eyes until he was out of sight. The Caspian turned and looked at the memory that continued to play before his eyes. It had changed all of the children were now sitting in a circle talking. Caspian watched them together as his heart broke at what he now knew.

Caspian finally turned away from the memory when he couldn't take it any more. He walked down to the beach. He took a seat facing the sunset. He placed his face in his hands and he cried.

* * *

Hi there readers! Thank you so much for the nice reviews and for everyone adding this story to their alert list. I really like the response I am getting.

Okay so I know some of you read this chapter and had a head ache so I am going to try and explain what I am conveying here.

In catholic theology (guess who is catholic? That's right me) there is a belief that God exists out side of time. In this way he can see the future and the past all at once because to him all of time is happening at once. The major issue that come with this belief is that because we have free will the course of history is forever changing. That is what I am trying to convey here. Aslan is god in Narnia so it makes sense to me.

If it helps thing of a massive tree. Each choice that every person will ever make changes the course of the world in one way or another. So each branch represents a different path caused by a different choice. Aslan is saying that one path had been certain for the children in England. While another in Narnia. He chose the one in England for them believing that it would be the better of the two. But a choice as been made and they are now on a different branch than they expected. And Susan in particular has made choices he was not expecting.

If this hurts your head I am sorry but it is part of how my story works so please forgive me.

Next chapter will be back with Susan and we will see a much happier lighter side of things for a while. I also promise that Caspian and Susan will get together. Work with me. I like to have build up.

Reviews please!

Thanks again!

-E


	3. Under Rug Swept

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?

* * *

"Peter Pevensie you are so dead!" Came Susan's cry from the house as Peter ran out the back door at break neck pace.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…" mumbled Peter as he sprinted toward the back of the yard where Edmund was sitting staring at his chess set. "Ed you gotta help me hide!" Peter said nervously looking back at the house where sounds of anger were slowly coming down the stairs.

Edmund looked up absently and gazed around their garden. There really was only one hiding spot.

"Looks like High King Peter will be climbing that tree now," mused Edmund as he moved two pieces on the board. He was playing against himself, which meant he would be outside for quite some time.

Peter groaned, glared at Edmund for a second before scrambling up the tree as fast as he could. No sooner was he hidden by the foliage, than Susan came bursting out of the house. Her hair was flying wild and her normally calm face was anything but. Edmund had the mental image that this is what a Fury in Greek mythology must have looked like. Susan scanned the small garden, and when she didn't find Peter her gaze narrowed in on Edmund.

"Ed! Which way did he go?" Susan smoldered.

"Where did who go?" Edmund replied slyly as he moved another chess piece.

"Don't be smart Ed, I am angry enough to kill you both if you are covering for him," Susan lowered her gaze to the chess set in a silent warning that she was not above smacking the pieces off. Edmund sensing the doom of his game, hurriedly came up with something.

"Alright! No need to be violent. He jumped the wall to the alley." Edmund said, pointing over the garden wall in the opposite direction of the tree. Susan gave Edmund one last glare before sprinting for the wall and then swiftly hopping over it.

Edmund could hear Peter let out the breath that he had been holding, and slowly climb down.

"That was really close, thanks Ed," Peter said as he slouched down he back against the tree.

"No big deal," Edmund shrugged. "You would have done the same. She is freaking scary. This once a month stuff is not cool." Edmund said shivering slightly as her remembered last month when he had dropped his chess set on Susan's books, and she had nearly decapitated him and served him for dinner.

"Tell me about it," Peter breathed. "I didn't even do anything!"

Edmund looked up at his older brother with one eyebrow raised, clearly saying he did not believe the second part. Peter crumbled.

"Okay, so I spilled orange juice on this piece of leather she has in her room. I figured I would dry it off outside, but then she noticed it was gone before I could put it back," Peter waved his hands around to show the gravity of the situation. "I mean it's just some silly strap of leather." Edmund suddenly looked up more interested in what his brother was rambling on about.

"Did you say strap?" Edmund asked.

"Yeah, its just some leather strap," Peter replied slowly as if he didn't get why a strap would interest Ed. "Why does it matter?"

"When was the last time you saw a leather strap in England?" Edmund said. Peter's face suddenly lit up with recognition. "Where did you put it?" Edmund asked as Peter took long strides towards the clothes line near the side of the house.

There hanging on the clothes line was a singular looking strap of leather. Peter reached for it and pulled it off the line. It was still mildly damp but the markings were very obvious. In the center was branded the starburst symbol of the Telmarine King. On the other side the was a brand of the letters C and X. It also seemed like some one had branded S and P below the C and X in a hurry with the tip of some hot metal.

Peter and Edmund stared at each other in wonder and then back at the strap.

"I thought none of us were able to bring anything back," Edmund said looking shocked.

"Well obviously that was wrong." Peter said sarcastically. "When did he even give her this? There was hardly time between everything." Peter continued to stare at what he could only assume was a love token from the current King of Narnia to his little sister.

There was a long pause as Edmund rolled something over in his mind. "It must have been right after the battle." Peter looked at Edmund a little confused. "Lucy was healing everyone that had serious injuries. You and I went to help many of the warriors get through the river. Now that I think about it, I don't remember seeing Susan or Caspian for most of the day." Edmund muttered tapping his chin.

Peter also replayed the day in his mind. After Aslan had arrived, things had become chaotic. Lucy was needed everywhere to heal. Edmund had notice that many of the Narnians needed assistance. Peter had taken the un-injured to try and open the tomb once again. He had no memory of seeing Caspian the rest of the day. He did, however, have the faintest memory of Susan walking off into the woods.

"Well now we know why she was so close to killing you for this," Edmund said with a laugh in his voice.

"I don't get it," said Peter plainly. "I thought she said it was nothing. She said she fancied him but nothing had happened." Peter looked genuinely confused.

"Pete, she's a girl. They never make sense. Don't give yourself a stroke trying to figure out how Susan feels." Edmund said mocking his brothers confusion.

"But this means that she still thinks about him. She nearly killed me over a piece of leather he once owned. Don't you think that means she loves him?" Peter asked following Edmund back to the chess set.

"I guess." Edmund shrugged. "Maybe she said nothing happened so we wouldn't worry about her being in love with a man she will never see again." Peter looked at Ed like the thought had never crossed his mind. "My point is that she is doing fine. Its not like she is acting like some love sick heroine. Except for this 'womanly time of the month' stuff, she is the same old Susan." Edmund point out as he settled back into his chair to resume his game of chess.

Peter was suddenly upset that his little brother suddenly was the one with all the answers. That was his job! He was going to start paying more attention to what was going on. Tomorrow he would talk to Susan about all of this, rather than pour over his politics books.

"Edmund Pevensie! You lied to me!" Came an anguished yell over the wall. Peter and Edmund locked gazes and a second later both of them had taken off for the house.

Susan emerged over the wall seconds later. She approached the chess set the way a wild cat stalks prey. There in the grass laying next to the table was the leather strap she had been desperately seeking. Susan bent down and picked it up tenderly. Her face softened as she held the leather in her hand. She lifted it to her face to get a sniff of the pine sent that still clung to it, only to find that at least half of the strap now smelled like orange juice.

She was going to kill Peter and Edmund.

* * *

Hi readers!

First off thanks for the reviews and faves and alerts. i swear my email inbox is at its max. it is really flattering.

Okay so now its time to explain my self on some points so i dont have to reply to the 15 people that ask. Susan has her period and is having a mood swing. I am tired of authors never mentioning that time of the month in their stories. it is a normal occurance and often leads to very surly girls. I also thought it would be good for a lighter chapter after the last one.

Secondly if any of you are super nerds out there you watched all the interviews with the actors. Will spilled orange juice on Ben the first time they ever got Ben in all of his armor. its kind of a joke that Peter spills orange juice on the leather. if you read my other story you know i also refenced the size of their swords. which apparently was a joke on set.

Thirdly i am including a quote from a song at the start of each chapter. Chapter one was actually a line from the show New Amsterdam. Chapter two was from The Call which is from the movie. This is from Hands Clean my Alanis Morissette.

Check out my profile for a play list to listen to while reading for a full effect of the story.

Next chapter will be back with Caspian.

Also thanks to my new beta reader liz22463. she stayed up late to help edit.

-E


	4. Time Passes

Time starts to pass before you know it you're frozen.

* * *

Caspian stood over looking the ford of the river. He had ordered a stone bridge to be built as his first action as king. It had been intended to help the Narnians cross; now it served to bring supplies to Cair Paravel. Carts of giant white stone trudged across the bridge, and onward towards the ancient ruins. Dust filled the air and the water around. Workers milled about as the carts moved slowly to the other side.

"Sire?" Caspian looked down to see Reepicheap in front of him. The small mouse had been off spreading word of his coronation to all of Narnia for the last few months and had only just returned. "Might I inquire to the meaning of all of this?" Reepicheap asked.

"We are going to restore Cair Paravel," replied Caspian frankly to the tiny warrior.

"That is truly a valiant and honorable task sire!" Reepicheap did a fancy bow and wandered off. Caspian gazed at the long line of carts that stretched out in front of him. This was the fifth set of supplies to be sent to the workers at Cair Paravel. Reports said that the great hall was complete, as well as two of the lower wings. And yet still Caspian worried that he would not finish in the two years he had been given.

Caspian himself had not been out to see the progress of the castle. He found it impossible to set foot in the ancient castle. After his conversation with Aslan, Caspian had spent a week in the ruins sketching what he saw. The magic of the castle continued to reveal itself to him. He had spent a week watching them.

He saw the day that Edmund had beat Peter in a sword fight, as well as the day that Peter beat Edmund at chess. It had broken his heart more each time he saw parts of their lives he had never known. He watched Lucy playing tricks and throwing tantrums. He had even witnessed the ever calm Susan go into a rage. He had nearly fallen over laughing when both Peter and Edmund had run in horror from the enraged Susan. It had been one of the funniest sights in his life to see High King Peter the Magnificent run in terror of his younger sister.

The memories only served to increase the sense of loss that Caspian felt. He had learned to care for all of them and seeing their past had not helped lessen the blow of his new knowledge. It had also caused certain feelings for a particular Queen to reemerge and intensify.

All the while he had drawn the castle. He spent hours making sure that each room would look just like the memories showed him. Each curtain, every piece of marble, and every detail that Caspian could see he took down. It had taken him the whole week.

He had returned home to propose the project to his Lords and the people. The response had been astounding. The Narnians could not have been more pleased at the prospect of restoring their ancient castle. The Telmarines had thought that by restoring the castle and moving there would further establish Caspian as the true ruler of Narnia. No one had objected to it.

That had been four months ago. Since then, Caspian had made sure that he oversaw all shipments of supplies himself. Beyond that, he tried to live his life without spending every moment thinking about what restoring the castle really meant.

_They will die in front of her. _

How was he supposed to rule with this knowledge lying so heavily on his shoulders? Taxes, land disputes, treaties, all of them were pointless in comparison to the tragedy that would soon befall the most beloved Kings and Queens of Narnia. Caspian looked out at the forest in front of him.

Standing here where only months ago he had first met Aslan it was hard to believe they were truly gone. Had that much time really past? It felt like only yesterday. Signs of the battle still scarred the landscape. The ashes of fire pits lingered on the shore and into the woods behind him. Piece of armor lay forgotten in the aftermath half hidden by the sand and underbush.

Caspian's hand traveled to the hilt of his sword, as his body remembered that day. He could still feel some pain when he got up in the morning. Especially in his ribs. It always felt weird to hold King Peter's sword in his hand. But that was never as bad as the fact that his sword hung more to one side than it should, as it would for as long as he lived. Caspian thought back to the day when he had lost the strap for his sword, or rather the day he had given it away.

* * *

"So this is where you have been hiding," came Susan's voice from behind Caspian. He turned around quickly very surprised. Susan had emerged from the bushes behind him looking just as ragged as he felt. Her hair was wild and she looked slightly sun burnt.

"I am not hiding!" Caspian said rather quickly. "I was simply coming out here to…" Susan had crossed her arms over her chest and raised one eyebrow daring him to continue. "Alright, I might have been hiding." Caspian admitted reluctantly. _Could he be any more embarrassed?_

Suddenly Susan's face lit up and her lips trembled ever so slightly as if she was trying to hold in a laugh. "And why exactly are you hiding?" Susan asked her voice breaking on the last word, her laughter threatening to spill out. _Apparently he could._

"Don't laugh at me!" Caspian shrieked. "Its not funny!" This proved to only make Susan's eyes grow larger; as if his shrieking was only making it funnier. "When was the last time you met a talking lion, make that an all powerful talking lion?"

Susan stopped in mid giggle to give Caspian a look that clearly said his question was beyond stupid.

"Oh, that's right. I forgot." Caspian said rather sheepish. _Well that was stupid._ At that, Susan had lost it. Her laughter had poured from her at such a volume Caspian was surprised half of Narnia didn't hear it. Caspian had been amazed to see Susan laugh; it had been a magical experience. Her head thrown back, her dark hair cascading down her back, her eyes sparkled as her chest heaved with the force of her laughs. Caspian had felt the urge to see her laugh like this again. She was beautiful normally, but at this moment in time she was the most divine creature in all of Narnia.

"Are you quite finished?" Caspian asked as Susan slowly stopped laughing. She was gasping for air and holding her side.

"I'm sorry Caspian," Susan said between large gulps of air. "It really wasn't that funny. I am just so relieved that everything is okay." She looked up and smiled at him. "I guess I was more tense than I had realized."

"I can understand the feeling," Caspian returned her smile. "What do you need me for?" Caspian asked as Susan finally calmed down. For a brief moment Susan looked confused and then she appeared to remember.

"I was worried about you," Caspian instantly felt his heart swell at these words, but then of course she kept talking. "You have been favoring you left side and you were holding your sword arm funny." Caspian's heart sank just a little. _She could have just left it at she was worried about me._

"I am fine, nothing I can't handle," Caspian replied frankly to her concern. He internally winced at his words. He really was no good when it came to Susan. _Charm is not your forte._

"I am aware that you are fine but I doubt you can handle it. How do you purpose to bandage yourself without the use of your right hand?" Susan said in a teasing tone. She took several steps toward him and grabbed his right hand. Susan gave one quick hard squeeze to his right wrist. Caspian felt liquid pain shoot up his arm at this motion and couldn't help it when his face scrunched up at the pain. The look in Susan's eyes told him he was in trouble now.

"It's not hurt that badly," Caspian lied. Susan squeezed again and he winced. "Or I could be wrong…" Caspian said dejectedly. Susan smiled wickedly.

"I am going to go get some bandages," Susan had said with a smile on her face as she turned on her heel and headed out of the forest to the main camp.

Caspian stood in the small clearing, mentally kicking himself. What was he trying to do? She was a Queen of Old. He had read stories about Susan as a child. But every time he was around her, his heartbeat picked up and he could never seem to come up with words. Granted, that had only happened two times, _three if he counted just now_. Besides that, he had spent most of the past month fighting with Peter or sparring for practice.

Girls had not been the first thing on his mind at the time. Life and death had really been the only options, though he did have personal thoughts of strangling Peter in his sleep, but he would never have told anyone of those. So what was he doing with Susan? Had he lost his mind? He replayed the conversation in his mind. _Had she been flirting with him? What was he doing?_ Caspian began to feel very much like banging his head into a tree.

"Alright, armor off." Caspian looked up shocked at Susan. She had returned to the clearing and was walking over towards him. She had bandages and wood in her arms, as well as something else he wasn't sure of.

"What?" It took every once of Caspian's control not to stutter or stammer. _Did she just say what I think she said?_

"I said take off your armor. I want to get a look at your side," Susan set down her supplies and went about setting up a small fire. Caspian stood dumbstruck for exactly one minute before his brain turned on again.

"Um…" Caspian said not sure what to say. Susan looked up at him and frowned slightly when she saw his armor was not off.

"Do you need help?" Susan asked. Caspian swallowed the lump in this throat.

"No, I can do it myself," He said trying to push his modesty away. Susan turned to keep working on her small fire. _Deep Breath Caspian, you can do this._

He took off his sword belt first. Then hesitantly he moved to his shoulders. When the plate was off, next came his chain mail hood, then his leather chest plate. The leather supports on his forearms came off as well. _Since when did taking his armor off take this long_, Caspian thought internally.

Susan looked up at Caspian. "I believe you still have another two layers to go before I can get a good look at your side," she quipped, teasing him. Caspian had the sudden urge to stick his tongue out at her, but he restrained himself. Instead he heaved his chain mail over his head and then untied his leather shirt. Finally he was down to just a cotton shirt.

"All done," Caspian told Susan like a triumphant child who had just finished his vegetables. She had been putting a pot of water over the small fire while he had stripped. Now she stood up and walked over to him. Then very unceremoniously lifted his right arm and his shirt over his head. Caspian felt all the blood rush to his face. He was in trouble.

* * *

Susan hadn't thought anything about looking at Caspian's side. She had dealt with Peter and Edmund before when they had gotten hurt. But then a little voice in her head said, '_He is not your brother._' Susan tried to ignore the little voice.

But that was proving difficult because it was hard to think of Caspian as just another boy with him half naked in front of her. _Since when did boys start looking good without their shirts? And when had scars become sexy? _

Susan shook her head slightly to clear her head. She had work to do. Susan turned her attention to the large bruise that was slowly swelling on Caspian's side. She frowned slightly.

"Tell me when it hurts," Susan said as she slowly put light pressure along his rib cage. At the center of the bruise Caspian hissed in a breath. "Looks like you cracked a rib." Susan said solemnly. "Are you having any trouble breathing?" Caspian shook his head. "Try sitting down." Caspian leaned forward as he slowly lowered himself to the ground, then the pain came. He groaned.

Susan frowned even further. He definitely had a cracked rib. But should she bandage it with the bruise there? Maybe she should call Lucy for help. What if she tried to help and only made it worse? '_Stay calm Susan, just think_', she said to her self. She could always deal with his wrist first and the rib later.

"Lets see to that wrist first," Susan said as she sat down in front of Caspian. He was still holding himself to one side, but even with that he was fairly handsome. She turned and picked up the bandages, and Caspian held out his right hand for her to wrap. Susan set about her task trying in vain not to blush or feel awkward in front of the half naked prince. As she worked, Susan noticed that Caspian continually fiddled with a strip of leather on his sword belt. He would grip it tighter when she pulled on the bandage harder, rolling it between his fingers the rest of the time.

"What's it like?" Caspian asked suddenly. Susan looked up at him confused.

"What's what like?" she finished tying off the bandage and was now working some fabric into the water to clean Caspian's wounds.

"Your world," Caspian was watching each of Susan's movements like one would watch as movie. He seemed completely absorbed in her movements. Frankly it was doing things to Susan she was not sure she minded. _This is how the prey must feel._

"It's nothing like here. There are all kinds of machines. And the cities are larger. Not to mention that back in our world we are just kids and no one takes us seriously." Susan smiled. "You wouldn't believe the number of fights Peter gets into, all because he still thinks he is King over there." At this Caspian smiled. He could see the High King doing just that.

"But at the same time some things are very much alike. Our country is at war. My father went away to help fight." Susan said turning to face Caspian.

"I am sorry to hear that," Caspian said. She reached up to wipe the cut on his face and suddenly realized just how close she was to the prince. Their faces only centimeters apart, Susan could feel Caspian's breath on her face, and she could see the tiny rings of gold in his dark eyes. _Danger Susan, danger!_ Cried another voice in her head.

* * *

Neither of them moved for a long moment. The forest was silent around them except for the popping of the small fire. They sat there for what felt like an eternity to Caspian. He had one of two options, he could lean back and do what was right. Or he could lean forward and do what he had been secretly wanting to do since he had first laid eyes on Queen Susan. _Option Two Please! _Cried a voice in the back of his mind.

Caspian leaned in until their noses barely touched. He took one deep ragged breath and kissed her.

* * *

'_He's kissing me!_' screamed a voice in the back of Susan's mind. The voice was very pleased by all of this, and for once Susan listened to the voice and leaned into the kiss more, taking it from a brush to a real kiss.

* * *

Caspian reached his hand up into her hair, bringing them closer. He could taste the salt from his sweat and, ironically, taste blood from the cut on his lip. But below that was something deeper. There was a warm vanilla flavor which could have only belonged to Susan. He had always loved vanilla.

Caspian leaned into the kiss deepening it. That was when the red hot magma of pain shot up from his side. He gasped in pain clutching his side.

* * *

"Oh my gosh your rib! Are you okay Caspian?" Susan placed her hand on top of his. "I didn't realize!" Susan could not believe what had just happened. She had just kissed Caspian, enough to hurt his side. Where was her head? _I might just die of embarrassment._

Susan turned around and grabbed the salve she had brought. It would bring down the swelling and stop his pain. "Let me see." Caspian raised his hands away from his side. Susan covered her hands in the salve and rubbed it over his bruise. She could feel her face heat up. _Why did her first kiss have to end in pain? _Her blush was slowly spreading down her face to her neck and chest.

"I have the worst luck," Susan mumbled under her breath feeling like a complete fool. Caspian looked up at her, his gaze holding a laugh.

"Perhaps you just need a good luck charm," Caspian replied weakly. His face still showed signs of pain. Susan tried to lessen the pressure she was applying to his side.

"I doubt a single charm could help me," Susan said lightly. Her face was officially the site of a large fire. _I think I could roast marshmallows on my face._ All Susan could think about was how close they were, her entire brain was useless.

Caspian reached over to his sword and unwound a strap of leather from the belt. He held the piece up to Susan."Maybe this could cure your luck," Caspian said with a smile in his eyes. Susan hesitantly took the piece of leather into her hand. She turned it over seeing the starburst as well as Caspian's initials.

"I can't accept this Caspian it belongs to you," Susan said handing it back to him. He frowned for a brief moment before his face lit up with an idea.

Caspian pulled his dagger from his belt and stuck it into the center of the fire, a moment later he remove it and took the tip to the leather. He repeated this process several times. All the while Susan watched wondering what he was doing. When he was done Caspian handed the strip back to Susan.

"Now its yours," Caspian said with a smile as Susan looked at her initials bellow his. She had rewarded him with the most spectacular smile and one very brief very passionate kiss.

* * *

"Sire," Caspian fell out of his memory to find himself still standing by the bridge. "The supplies are successfully over the bridge," said Trumpkin. Caspian looked down at him and nodded. The dwarf had remained with Caspian as his companion and advisor.

"Good. I will be heading back to the castle. Alert me when news of their arrival at Cair Paravel comes," Caspian said sternly to Trumpkin before heading to his horse. As he walked away he couldn't help but finger the spot where the leather strap had once been.

* * *

Hi readers! Thanks again for the awesome response!

This was my service chapter for all the fan girls. I hope you liked it. I won't be able to post again until at least Sunday so I hope this chapter will make up for it. I went to see the movie again today with my brother and he pointed out how much more awesome Edmund is in the second movie. So for those of you who read both of my stories Edmund will be my next to interview.

I tried to break it up for easy reading from when I switch points of view. The next chapter will be back in England with Susan. I have no idea what I am going to do with it so I am going to use my break in writing to brain storm.

This was a hard chapter to write because I did not want to copy any one else's ideas and at the same time avoid cliches. I hope I accomplished this.

Fun side note. My mom is threatening to drug me so I will go to bed rather than stay up and write these. I am proud to say that I ran away yelling "For Narnia!" This just goes to show the level of dedication I have to this story.

Quote is from Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis.

Love you all,

-E


	5. Up All Night

And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.

* * *

It felt as if the whole world was asleep. England was shrouded in silent darkness wrapping it up in the blackness. Not a cloud stood in the sky and the stars shined as brightly as they could. Every one was asleep save for the two oldest children of the Pevensie family, who at that very moment were laying on the grass laughing.

"There I am looking at the application and all I can think is, Wonder if I should put High Kind of Narnia in front of my name," Peter said with a laugh in his voice. Susan rolled over pressing her face into the ground with laughter. "The consoler kept looking at me like I was crazy because there I am mumbling about how seriously they will take me if I put it down."

"Tell me you didn't Peter," Susan said between gulps of air.

"I didn't, but I did seriously consider it." Susan burst into giggles again. "I figured I could always put it on the application to Leads, they might be more impressed than the stuffy old men at Oxford," Peter continued with his personal joke. Susan was now smacking the ground in fits of laughter.

It had started after they got back, these late nights. It was their therapy time. In the dead of night was the only time that Peter and Susan could ever talk about the things they didn't tell anyone else. They talked about Narnia, about how much they missed it and how it was a part of them. They talked about the future and the past. Susan consoled Peter when a girl at her school had turned him down the month before. Peter had tired to talk about Caspian but often got nothing out of Susan.

Midnight while the world slept Peter and Susan talked their hearts out and forgot that they had anything to worry about besides each other.

Susan finally stopped laughing. "You have to promise me that you will tell me all your funny stories when I get back from America," Susan said with a large smile on her face.

"I doubt there will be much to talk about. I am going to study all summer so I can pass my exams. You are going to be the one with stories," Peter said rolling on his side to look at his sister. She was lying on her back facing the sky. She had suddenly sobered up from her giggles. Her face held none sign of what was truly bothering her. "What?"

"I don't want to go to America with Mother and Father," Susan said gazing at the stars with longing.

"Why ever not?" Peter said confused at his sister's sudden change. They had been having such great fun tonight. It had started on a bad note because Peter had gotten into a fight at the park the other day with a boy from his school. But after that it had turned to the silly stories that each missed while at school. Peter talked about all the trouble he and Edmund got into while Susan talked about how she and Lucy had made up a secret code to talk about Narnia in front of others. The night had been going quite well.

Tonight had been so important. It had been the first time that Peter had seen Susan smile in a while, she had been down lately. So much had changed over the past year that Peter got worried about her more often. She didn't show it but Peter could tell that something had started to bother her. It worried him greatly. Susan had always been the sensitive one. Lucy had an ability to rebound from any sadness in mere hours. But Susan would hold on to it for years.

Peter could still remember back when they had been little. The other children had picked on Susan the most. All the while she would sit there and take it. It had fallen onto Peter to defend his little sister; to this day he still felt he needed to protect her.

"I don't want to go to some foreign country by myself," Susan said sounding sad. Peter thought for a second. That didn't sound right to him. Susan had been overjoyed when she had learned about the trip what had changed?

"You have got to be kidding me Susan. Lucy said you were bragging for weeks at school about going to see America," Peter said worried about the sudden change in his sister.

"Well, I'm not," Susan said sounding so far off.

"What's really the matter Su?" Peter said propping himself up on his arm watching his sister. "Something is bothering you and it has nothing to do with America." There was a long pause as Peter just watched his sister. She took several deep breaths before meeting his gaze.

"Do you still think about Narnia?" Susan replied instead of answering.

"All the time, you know that," Peter said sensing something was coming.

"Do you…um...ever feel it?" Susan said. He gave her a look that clearly said he didn't understand. Susan let out a sigh and turned her head to face the sky again. "Some times, late at night or even during the day I close my eyes and I can feel Narnia. I can hear it, I can see it, I can feel it again." Susan turned again to look at Peter. "Do you get that ever?"

Peter smiled. "Only about five times a day. More when its been a bad day." Susan smiled at him. She was never alone with her big brother around.

"Then you felt it too?" Susan said asking without words for her brother to understand what was really hurting her.

"Yes," Peter said. He had felt Cair Paravel calling from him like a beacon. It was rebuilt and wanted its rulers to return. He could feel Caspian's unease about something. Peter had always had a connection to Narnia after the first time. He hadn't told the others but he had felt the changes in Narnia, it had been the fire under him for months. Issues in Narnia always translated to issues in England for Peter. Now that he knew better his fights at school almost always happened around the time of battles in Narnia. He hadn't gotten into a fight since he had been home. Well except for the one in the part yesterday but that had been his own fault, or at least he hoped it was. Because if it wasn't that meant that Caspian was in real trouble.

"Something is wrong with Caspian he has been acting strangely and he is depressed. And Cair Paravel as been restored," Peter said thinking about it. Nothing else was wrong in Narnia there was no real reason to be concerned. Caspian probably was just having a rough week.

"And now Lucy and Edmund are going to go back," Susan said after a long pause. Peter sighed.

"What makes you think they will go back now?" Peter was worried about the direction of this conversation.

"It's the perfect time for them to go. You will be with the Professor studying for exams. I will be in American on vacation. Lucy and Edmund will be with out us of for months. If they are going to get called back to Narnia now would be the time," Susan plucked a flower out of the ground and started to pick the petals off.

Peter rolled onto his back. Silence stretched between them. "We knew this was going to happen some time," Peter sighed after a long moment.

"I was just hopping it would happen…." Susan paused. "I was hoping it would never happen. Or at least it would happen after I was older and able to say truthfully that it was okay. I wanted to be able to have them come back, hear the stories and not have it break my heart. But if they go now I think I will have to start acting like the silly girl people always assume I am. I am not okay with it now."

"I don't think it will ever be okay," Peter said with a pause. "I have been seriously considering not going to college at all. Mostly because it would kill me if they returned while I was away." Peter turned his head to look at his sister. She had picked up another flower. Susan smiled weakly.

"At least you know what you are going to do with your life," Susan said sounding lost. "I don't have the slightest clue what I am supposed to do. I have already been a Queen, how am I supposed to be content with anything less?" Susan asked sounding aggravated.

"Maybe you're not supposed to be," Peter said getting a glare from Susan. "Just listen, maybe we are always supposed to want more out of our lives. It could be the motivation for us to do great things. Missing Narnia might make us stronger," Peter had been trying to convince himself of just that.

"I will never have a great purpose," Susan mumbled. Peter sat up suddenly.

"Don't say that Susan, you can't know that!" Peter couldn't believe his sister had just said that.

"Don't act surprised Peter. You know it too. I might be able to hide things from Lucy and Edmund but not from you, surely you most know." Susan said after a long pause.

She turned and looked at him. The truth was he did know. He had always suspected that his little sister didn't believe in herself. When she had been younger some one had said all she would ever be good for was a house wife. Peter had his suspicions that Susan had always believed that, and now back in England she was acting like it more and more.

In Narnia she was confidant but here in England Susan was so unsure of herself some times. Peter would never say it but he was unsure of himself as well. Perhaps it was just part of growing up, of being a teenager.

Susan was taking more and more the role of mother and less of the role of a young woman in her prime. Peter was worried.

Susan looked up to see the pain in her brother's eyes. She instantly felt sorry for saying anything.

"I'm sorry, I didn't really mean that. I just…I don't know any more." Susan said suddenly. The pain in Peter's eyes was instantly removed and replaced by concern.

"Is this because of him?" Peter asked cautiously. Susan glared at Peter. "Don't give me that look. You nearly ripped my head off when I spilled orange juice on that strap of his."

"I nearly killed you because it is the only thing I own that is from Narnia," Susan retorted frankly.

"Yeah, that's why you wear it as a bracelet now. Because it's from Narnia? Don't lie to me Susan," Peter said moments later. "Something happened between you two. Unless you have forgotten I was there." Peter said sarcastically.

"I'm not sure," Susan said truthfully. "At first I thought I was fine. It had just been a crush." Peter gave Susan a look. "And my first kiss." Peter nodded his head now that Susan had told the full truth.

"I still think I should have hit him harder for that," Peter said musing. Susan gasped and looked at her brother in horror for a moment before she realized he was kidding.

"You shouldn't have hit him at all. This isn't the Middle Ages, you don't need to defend my honor," Susan said scolding her brother.

"In Narnia it was. So I was within my right to punch him when I found you two," Peter said getting a very regal tone to his voice. Susan gave him a squinty eye glare. Peter smiled innocently. Susan continued to give him the squinty eye glare. "Okay, so maybe, just maybe it was uncalled for. But I am standing by my actions." Peter said finally. Susan stopped glaring at her brother and smiled.

"So you admit you were wrong?" Susan said needling him.

"Never!" Peter said instantly. Susan laughed. "So this is what has been bothering you? You miss him."

"I am not sure. That could be it. But as time goes by I can't help but feel that I am missing something, and I am starting to think he might be it." Susan said truthfully.

"Are you sure you just don't have gas?" Peter asked jokingly. Susan smiled. "Or perhaps you forgot to do the laundry, want to go check?" Peter said standing up and pretending to go check.

Susan grabbed his arm and dragged him back down to the grass. She was laughing finally.

"Maybe I should go get the doctor. You never know you might be coming down with something tragically dull." Peter couldn't help but tease more. Susan laughed harder.

When she was finished laughing Susan looked over at her brother. "What am I going to do with myself when you go away to college?"

"Cry yourself to sleep every night because you miss your big brother so much." Peter offered with a laugh in his voice. Susan punched him in the arm. "Ouch, that's my sword arm you hit. What am I supposed to do if a there is a raid?" Peter asked sounding truly worried.

"I suppose you will have to run and hide like a little school girl," Susan said jumping back as Peter lunged at her fully prepared to tickle an apology out of her. Susan shrieked as Peter chased her around the yard for a moment.

"Could the two of you be any louder?" Came Edmund's voice from the window upstairs. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"Sorry Ed." Susan mumbled.

"Sorry Edmund," Shouted Peter teasing his brother. Edmund gave both of them one final glare before he closed the window. Susan and Peter stood in silence for about two seconds before both of them fell back wards on to the grass laughing hysterically. Peter suddenly knew that no matter what happened as long as he was around his sister would be okay.

* * *

Far way in another world a lion sat weeping as he watched them.

* * *

Hi there readers!

Sorry for the delay. I went to visit a friend. Also because of this I skipped giving it to my beta so forgive the spelling errors and grammar mistakes. I will go back in the future and fix them but I wanted to give the fans something to read in the mean time.

This chapter was one of the hardest to write. I swear it was like pulling teeth. I just kept having trouble with the dialogue. I had to rewrite about half of it. I re-read my first couple of chapters and realized that I forgot a lot of stuff that I wanted to add. I am trying to avoid doing that by holding on to the chapters for longer thus giving me time to add stuff.

This chapter is based loosely on my own brother and I. We have this horrible habit of staying up to all hours of the night just talking.

A few of you asked for the interviews that involve the orange juice. I will add them in my next author's note if I can find them again. I tried looking today and now I cant seem to find them.

Next chapter is back with Caspian again. Yippie! And I am going to talk about when Peter punched him. Be prepared for angst left and right. After that I am going to try and do the impossible and write from Lucy's point of view. That chapter might be crap because I have a hard time getting into her head. So yes.

Expect longer waits. But I promise the chapters will be worth it.

Love

-E


	6. Stop Right There

Stop right there, that's exactly where I lost it.

* * *

"King or no, you cannot out drink a dwarf. I could drink you under the table," said Trumpkin with a gloat on his face.

That is how this had all started. It had been a silly bet. The king had been depressed lately and the others had pressured Trumpkin to cheer him up.

Problem was Trumpkin was not the best person when it came to being lively. His idea of a good time was getting shit faced at the pub. So he had taken Caspian with him. _Couldn't hurt to give it a try._

Trumpkin was beginning to think it might have been a bad idea to challenge the king to a drink off. But it was a little too late for that because both of them were now officially drunk off their asses and there was no use stopping.

"I do…hiccup…believe I am … hiccup…winning," Caspian slurred. He gave Trumpkin a very crocked smile. _This was a very bad idea._ Caspian had finished two more glasses of ale than Trumpkin.

"I…hiccup…believe…hiccup…owe me money," Caspian pointed at Trumpkin and nearly fell off his stool

"Perhaps your Majesty might…. allow me to see his… sword for a moment," Trumpkin said steadily. _Get the weapons away from the drunk._ Caspian might have had more to drink, but Trumpkin had a stomach of steel.

Caspian unlatched his sword and handed it to Trumpkin without question. He was a very complacent drunk and did pretty much what you told him to. Trumpkin smiled slightly to himself as he set the sword aside, but when he turned back to Caspian he was looking depressed again. _Well bugger, he was just starting to cheer up._

"He hit me…hiccup… you know," Caspian said, looking over at his sword.

"Who hit you sire?" Reepicheap chimed in finally. Trumpkin glared at him for a moment. The mouse had so far been no help in the cheering up of Caspian and Trumpkin would remember it.

"High King….hiccup… The Magnificent," Caspian said with a funny smile on his face. Reepicheap and Trumpkin looked at each other in confusion; neither of them remembered Peter hitting Caspian. _At least this is getting interesting._

"He…hiccup…punched me right in the nose," Caspian said tapping his nose. His eyes crossed and he tipped to the side a little like he was going to fall, but then righted himself.

"Really now?" Trumpkin asked, wanting to know more. "Why would he… have done that?" Trumpkin said sarcastically as he remembered the temper that High King Peter had.

"I was kissing Susan," Caspian said solidly. _Well this is news to me._ "Well…hiccup…it as a …hiccup…little more than a ….hiccup…a kiss." Caspian now had a very large smile on his face. Trumpkin and Reepicheap exchanged glances again. _Now I have got to hear this._

"What exactly happened, Your Majesty?" Trumpkin asked with an excited glint in his eyes.

* * *

It was taking much longer to get back to the castle than it had to run away. Caspian knew that was because he was coming back with an army of Narnians and Telmarine soldiers. But still, it was simply taking so long.

They had to take so many breaks to make sure that everyone was rested and fed. This was slowed down even more by those who were only slightly injured and that needed to take it easy.

Today they had stopped by a river. Most of the troops had been so pleased to see it they had jumped right in. The larger part of the stream was now completely filled with Narnians and Caspian got the impression it might be better to move up stream to wash.

He walked up stream humming to himself as he went. It had been two days since his meeting with Susan in the forest. Since then, things had just been busy. Either Susan was helping some one or Peter had wanted to talk to Caspian. It seemed that he might not get a chance to have any alone time with Susan until they returned to the castle.

That was of course until he saw her in the river.

* * *

"Are you to say you saw Queen Susan the Gentle… naked?" Reepicheap asked in horror. Caspian gave him a shaky look.

"No…hiccup…let me…hiccup…finish," Caspian swayed more in his seat. He took another gulp of ale and started again.

* * *

Queen Susan had taken off most her outer dress. She was down to a thin, flimsy thing that Caspian did not recognize. She appeared to be washing her dress, but that was not what had caught Caspian's eye, it was that Susan was soaked to the bone. The thin fabric that she was wearing was practically see through.

Caspian could feel his breath caught in his chest. _This is indecent, turn away this instant. Do you have no honor?_ Cried Caspian's conscious. But no matter what it yelled, Caspian couldn't seem to make his body respond to his mental commands. Although one part of him was responding, Caspian flushed with embarrassment.

Finally Caspian was able to calm down enough to move away. Or at least he would have if not for the root. One second he was standing next to the tree and the next….

* * *

"I was face…hiccup…first in…hiccup…mud," Caspian said. He demonstrated this by smacking himself in the face. Trumpkin couldn't help but chuckle. Reepicheap on the other hand was still in shock that the King had seen the Queen in such a state. He was looking very upset.

"I…hiccup…was completely…covered," Caspian said continuing with his story.

* * *

Caspian was mortified. He could feel the mud in his nose and ears. He lay like that with his entire front in the mud hoping to Aslan that Susan had not seen him fall.

But, alas, it was not his lucky day. Pearls of laughter were coming from the river. Caspian knew that Susan had seen him and his embarrassment only intensified. Caspian didn't move, he was too scared to.

"Caspian, do plan to lay in the mud forever?" Susan asked. He could hear her slowly get out of the river. Caspian slowly nodded his head in the mud. He could hear Susan break out into laughter again.

And then he felt her grab his hand and pull him up. Caspian came up but he didn't go easy. He would much rather have preferred suffocating in the mud to facing a half naked laughing Susan, but eventually he sat up.

"I would have preferred to remain there until my dignity returned," Caspian said, still unable to see where Susan was. The mud had so completely coated his face that he couldn't even open his eyes. He suddenly felt a cloth wiping his face and a moment later he could open his eyes to find an extremely wet Susan smiling at him.

"I think your dignity might take a while to come back," she said with a laugh. Caspian should have still been embarrassed but the sight of Susan in the wet see through fabric was causing other thoughts to occur in his mind. _Do you have no shame? _Apparently he didn't, because he mind had defiantly traveled south.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Susan said, pulling Caspian up from his sitting position. Caspian followed Susan without much fuss; the fact was he didn't even know he had been moving.

Next thing Caspian knew he was chest deep in the river and the mud was flowing off him. But his mind was not really processing any of that. _Susan is almost completely naked. _

"Come here, I'll get your hair," Susan said holding up a bar of something and motioning for Caspian to come closer.

"I think I would much rather go hide some where and never come out," Caspian said not yet moving._ Or rip your clothes off and ravage you right here._ Did he really just think that?

Susan laughed but Caspian continued to look embarrassed. Suddenly she stopped and looked at him huffed once looked down and then looked back up at him.

"We had these embasaries from some other country come to visit us once. Peter was in a tizzy for days about how we needed to act like true royals because we were so young. He was terrified that one of us would do something terrible stupid." Caspian looked up at Susan from where he had been staring at the water. "They had just come in and as if on cue I tripped on my gown and tumbled face first down the stairs. Peter still brings it up some times. Just be glad I was the only one that saw." Susan said with a smile. Caspian smiled back.

* * *

"When exactly did High King Peter… punch you?" Trumpkin asked getting annoyed with the length of this story. He did not want to know this much. Plus Caspian was so drunk that most of it didn't make sense.

"I…hiccup….was getting…hiccup….to it," Caspian said, but at that exact moment he tumbled backwards onto the floor. Caspian lay there for a moment before he drunkenly heaved himself back onto the stool "Where…hiccup… was I?"

* * *

Caspian had finally submitted to letting Susan wash off his hair. He could have done it himself but he was not about to turn her down. He had removed his shirt to be washed off as well.

Caspian leaned down so Susan could better reach his hair. They stood in silence for a several moments neither really having anything to say.

Caspian's mind had returned to the gutter. It didn't help that his face was eye level with Susan's chest. He should be punished for some if not all of his current thoughts, but then Susan broke his train of thought.

"Your hair is in shambles," She said simply tugging at a knot.

"It's what?" Caspian asked not understanding the word she had just used.

"Its in a terrible state, the mud isn't helping but I get the feeling you haven't brushed it in ages," Susan splashed some water onto his head in an attempt to free some of the knots.

"Well there was this war, it was important, I haven't really had time," Caspian said softly.

"Are you teasing me?" Susan asked. Caspian peered at her up through his hair, she was smiling.

"Perhaps," Caspian said cautiously. He didn't have time to brace himself when Susan gave one good push and he fell backwards into the river. He came up for air sputtering. Susan was beaming proudly but Caspian quickly wiped the smile off her face as he tackled her into the water. She gave out one loud shriek before plunging under the water.

This time they both came up sputtering. Caspian looked and felt very pleased with himself. Susan was huffing and looked like she might take and arrow to him.

"You are the absolute worst," She said, sounding very much like she meant it. Susan turned to get out of the water but stopped when she saw that Caspian was pouting like a child. She couldn't stay mad at him.

"I will forgive you under one condition," Susan started turning back into the water. Caspian looked up expectantly. Susan splashed him right in the face, Caspian looked exactly like a drowned puppy.

Susan laughed, that was until Caspian splashed her back, and it quickly descended into an all out splash fight. Caspian, always one to take the offensive, moved forward as Susan retreated to a boulder near the shore where their clothes lay.

In moments Susan's back was against the bolder. She swung her arms out in an attempt to get one last splash but Caspian caught them before she could. They stood there for exactly two seconds, the two of them huffing from the effort drenched to the bone, before like magnets, they collided.

Susan wrapped her arms around Caspian's neck pulling him closer. He had tried to brace his arms against the rock but gave up in seconds. He didn't have the will power to resist her.

This time the kiss didn't taste like sweat or blood just the delicious warmth that was Susan. Being wet only made things better. Caspian was without his shirt and he could feel all of Susan against him. If the world stopped at that exact moment he would be the happiest man alive.

Caspian had kissed girls before. He was twenty, it's not like he was brain dead. There had been a girl a few years ago that had particularly caught his interest. But things had ended when Caspian had lost interest. But kissing Susan was a whole new experience. It was like an addiction.

His hands were every where and he could feel Susan's hands in his hair pressing his face closer to deepen the kiss. They came up for air and Caspian moved from Susan's mouth to her neck sucking gently, he heard a small gasp of delight.

* * *

"I really don't need…. to hear all of this," Trumpkin said, slightly disgusted. His ears were burning and he was certain he was about to throw up. Reepicheap had gone very pale a long time ago and remained as such.

"But…this is what…hiccup…you wanted to…..hear," Caspian said squinting his eyes at Trumpkin. He assumed that Caspian was trying to look angry but he was too drunk to pull it off.

* * *

Caspian's hand was just about to reach Susan's butt when he heard a very shocked gasp. His blood instantly turned to ice. _This can't be good._

"Susan!" Peter yelled sounding beyond pissed. _I was right._

"Bloody hell," Susan mumbled under her breath. Caspian untangled himself from Susan and they turned to face Peter. He was standing on the edge of the river looking like he just might kill someone. Susan's face was a bright shade of red.

But it went pale the second they reached the shore because no sooner had they gotten there did Peter punch Caspian right in the nose. There was an audible thud as Peter's fist connected with Caspian's face.

Caspian could feel the blood squirt almost instantly along with the shearing pain that spread though out his face.

"Peter!" Susan gasped rushing to Caspian. Susan was shooting Peter daggers with her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but at that exact moment Edmund and Lucy came running.

"What happened?" Lucy asked worried.

"My eyes are burning Su, put some clothes on!" Edmund gasped as he threw a hand over his eyes.

"Shut up Ed. Lucy go get your potion," Susan said looking up at her younger siblings. Lucy turned and dashed off into the forest. Edmund looked like he was going to stay and say something but Peter gave him one strong look and Edmund as well turned away.

* * *

"It….hiccup…hurt like hell," Caspian said stopping in his story. Trumpkin felt the urge to say something along the line of 'broken noses tend to do that' but then thought better of it.

Caspian was opening up and that was what this whole night had been about. Perhaps this story is the root of his current issues. It was completely possible that Caspian was love sick.

* * *

"Susan…" Peter said sternly as he grabbed Susan's arm and dragged her away from Caspian. He hadn't really moved much the whole time. He was just holding his nose hoping the pain would stop, so he was still standing there as Peter and Susan started to fight.

"What the hell was that?" Peter exclaimed angrily. _I hope he does punch me again._

"None of your business!" Susan shouted back. _She is really sexy when she is angry._

"You are practically naked Susan, and so is he. What would have happened if I hadn't shown up?" Peter was getting more and more pissed. _I think my nose might fall off._

Caspian heard a strangled noise that could only have been Susan and then heave foot steps. He then heard muffled voices. It appeared that Susan had something to say that she was not prepared for him to hear. He could hear Peter growl occasionally. Caspian was just beginning to catch on to what Susan was saying when Lucy came running back.

"Here you go Caspian," Lucy said placing one drop in his mouth. Instantly his nose felt better. Caspian stood from his hunched position to find Peter and Susan had returned to standing in front of him.

"Thank you Queen Lucy," Caspian said eyeing Peter warily.

"Peter, what do you have to say," Susan said getting a grip on Peter's arm. Peter looked very much like he would have liked to hit Caspian again.

Peter mumbled something that sounded very much like 'I'm sorry' but Caspian couldn't be sure. Susan looked pleased with this.

"What else?" Susan's tone was threatening. Peter glared at her and then stuck his hand out. Caspian shook it and then Peter turned on his heel and left.

"What was that all about?" Lucy asked in confusion. Susan looked at Caspian with longing and then turned to her sister.

"I'll tell you later." Susan said, Lucy apparently fine with this answer, trotted away. Susan looked at Caspian like she didn't know what to say or do.

"You do have the worst luck," Caspian said finally with a smile. Susan looked shocked for one second before she hit him playfully in the arm.

* * *

"That explains a lot," Trumpkin said aloud after Caspian finished his drunken story. The King was defiantly in love with Queen Susan. Which meant his depression was most likely going to stay for a while.

Trumpkin turned to say something to Caspian but when he turned Caspian was on the floor looking very perturbed.

"Alright, time to get you back to the castle," Trumpkin said as he got down off his stool and started to drag the King to the door. Reepicheap came too but the mouse seemed to be in his thoughts. The story had messed with his view of the Kings and Queens and that seemed to deeply trouble him.

"I'm going to marry her," Caspian said in his drunken stupor. He was half asleep.

"Marry who?" Reepicheap asked looking at Caspian.

"Susan, I'm…gonna marry her….when she returns," Caspian said finally passing out. Trumpkin and Reepicheap looked at their King sympathetically because they knew that Queen Susan would never return. If only they knew how wrong they were they might have believed their drunken King.

* * *

Hi readers! Thanks again for all the support. I swear I don't know what to do with all of the alerts and favorites.

So this chapter was super hard to write because I kept thinking it was cliché and then I had to change it again. It has gone through about four re-writes. Not to mention that on Word it is 11 pages long. No kidding.

The quote at the top of the chapter is from Who I am Hates Who I've Been by Relient K. It is one of my favorite songs and I thought it worked out well for this chapter.

Also I am going to be posting this story on another website its www . Caspian and Susan . com without the spaces. So look for me there as well.

**Challenge time! **I really am dying to see some good music videos made of Prince Caspian. I am really interested in seeing some one make a video using the song Over My Head by Lit. If any of you will make some cool videos and then send me the link I will send you an advanced copy of the next chapter. I want to see some good work. And if this works out we can do it for each chapter.

Next chapter we will have Lucy, but you don't get to know any more than that because of the challenge.

Love

-E


	7. We Need To Talk

Step one, you say, we need to talk.

* * *

Lucy thought she might gag. Or at least throw up. Was she the only one that did not care about this new blonde woman?

Edmund was practically tripping over himself to speak to her. He even went so far as to make a reference to the sleeping beauty fairy tale. _What did that have to do with anything? I hope Edmund is not trying to say he wants to kiss her. If he does, I will throw up._

Eustace looked as if he was having trouble not drooling. Reepicheep even looked like he was dazed. Lucy was suddenly very certain that she was going to throw up. _I will never understand why boys like blondes._

What was it with older people? Lucy knew that the woman was pretty but this was getting out of hand. She was beginning to think she would no longer be around her friends if they all continued to act like fools.

That was of course except for Caspian. When the lady had come out he had looked up interested for one moment before he went back to twisting his dagger in the table.

Caspian didn't even seem to notice the woman's beauty. He just continued playing with his dagger and ignoring this new woman. Lucy, even at her age, knew that was weird behavior for a boy. No, Caspian was a man now.

But then Caspian had been acting oddly the entire trip. He had nearly cried, or looked like he might when they first arrived. He had smothered Lucy with attention, something she loved. He had spent hours talking to Edmund. After a while he had started to pay attention to Eustace but it seemed like he was only doing it to be nice.

Caspian would hug Lucy for as long as possible and when she finally would make him let go he always looked so sad. It was making her worry. She had tried to ask him but he had just said that he missed them dreadfully and it pained him to know they would leave again.

Lucy wanted to press the subject, but Caspian was being difficult. Either they were busy or he would suddenly think of something he needed to do. It was almost a kind of game, one that was getting extremely tiresome. Lucy thought for a moment she might bring it up again.

Then the star came and Lucy forgot her worries about Caspian.

* * *

"Aren't you a star any longer?" asked Lucy.

"I'm a star at rest, my daughter," Said Ramandu

"In our world," said Eustace, "a star is a huge ball of flaming gas."

"Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, but only what it is made of. And in this world you have already met a star, for I think you have been with Coriakin."

"Is he a retired star, too?" said Lucy. Ramandu excused the question. And the conversation returned to the three sleeping lords.

"Surely, Sire," said Reepicheep, "there is no question about that? It is plainly part of our quest to rescue these three lords from enchantment."

Caspian agreed, still seeming upset. Lucy thought that perhaps he was sad that their adventures were coming to an end. This was of course the last of the lords sitting before them. Finding them had been Caspian's original quest.

Then discussion turned to Lord Rhoop, and what should be done with him as Lucy pretended to be listening. But her thoughts had moved on as children's thoughts so often do.

* * *

Lucy was concerned for not only Caspian, but for Susan and Peter as well. They had both looked so forlorn when they had said goodbye to Lucy. Peter had kneeled down in front of her and taken her hands.

"When you get there Lucy, be sure to talk to him," Peter had said. Lucy had looked confused at first.

"What are you talking about?" Lucy asked her older brother. Lucy looked up to see Susan standing off to the side saying goodbye to Edmund. And at that moment something in her little head clicked. "You think we are going back?" Lucy asked Peter.

Peter had smiled sadly and nodded his head. In truth Lucy had felt it too. Cair Paravel had been calling to her, begging for her to return, the timing was so right. Lucy suddenly felt tears behind her eyes and hugged her brother. Peter returned the hug but in a moment pulled away.

"Lu, you need to talk to him," Peter said looking like he might need another hug. "Su needs…We need to know what is happening. Everything that is happening." Lucy nodded her head. "You feel it too, don't you?" Peter asked, and Lucy nodded her head through her tears. "Find out what's wrong with him and tell us," Peter said before giving Lucy one last bear hug.

Saying goodbye to Susan had been a hundred times worse.

* * *

When Lucy looked up again, the Lady was talking again. Lucy was rather put off that most of the men from the ship were acting like she was the best thing since sliced bread.

Lucy turned to Caspian. "I think I might be sick," she said in a whisper. He seemed to come out of his own thoughts at that moment. He looked very puzzled at Lucy's statement before she motioned to the Lady with her head, and then all the men.

It was comical to watch Queen Lucy tilt her head this way and that. It took Caspian a moment longer than it should have for him to figure out what the little Queen was trying to convey to him, but once he got it a smile spread across his face.

"And why do you think you might be sick?" Caspian asked in return. Lucy scrunched up her face as if she had just smelled something rotten.

"All of them are in such a tizzy over her, just because she is pretty," Lucy said, looking rather put off. Caspian smiled at the small Queen and patted her on the head.

"I am sure that one day men will be in a tizzy all over you as well," Caspian said with a smile, but Lucy did not seem pleased with this response.

"Yes, but till then I am stuck looking like an ostrich," Lucy folded her arms and gave Caspian a slight pout. Caspian just smiled at Lucy.

"You will have to be patient, I doubt your sister was always lovely," Caspian said with a sad smile that Lucy did not miss.

"That's just it, she was always pretty," Lucy said throwing her arms around a bit. "Even when she was my age she was pretty." Lucy had always been jealous of her sister just a little. Susan was so smart and so very pretty. Lucy often felt like in England she was only known as 'Susan Pevensie's little sister.' It was only here in Narnia that any one paid much attention to her.

Caspian looked like he was about to say something to Lucy when they noticed that it appeared that the feast was over and it was time to return to the ship. Caspian gave Lucy another pat this time on the shoulder. She was going to have to have a word with him about the whole 'giving Lucy a pat' routine._ If he pats me again I will bite his hand._

Lucy was about to follow the others when she noticed the Lady had stopped to speak with Caspian. It was odd to watch, because Lucy would have thought for sure that Caspian would be interested in the Lady.

"My King," said the Lady, "I hope to speak with you again when you have broken the enchantments." Lucy thought for sure that Caspian would have smiled or at least looked pleased. But instead Caspian didn't even seem to notice. _That's odd._

"We shall see," was Caspian's only response before he moved forward to catch up with the rest of his crew. Lucy had looked up at Caspian, and never before had she been so proud of any one before. _Maybe there was hope for boys._

* * *

The walk back to the ship had been dreadful. Edmund had questioned Caspian non-stop about the Lady. Edmund was very plainly upset that Caspian had seemed uninterested in such a Lady. Edmund, on the other hand, was very obviously infatuated.

Edmund must have spent at least five minutes describing how lovely the Lady's hair was. By the end of it Lucy was sure that she would never look at the sun or wheat with the same affection.

Lucy turned to Caspian, clasping her hands over her throat and mimed that she was chocking. Caspian gave her a bright smile but didn't say anything else.

* * *

Lucy couldn't sleep. It simply was too hot to sleep and she had remembered tonight that she needed to speak with Caspian. She got out of her bed. Lucy rummaged around for a moment before finding a suitable robe to up on to cover her night dress. Lucy exited her cabin to find that Caspian was already out on deck.

Caspian was standing at one side of the deck, leaning on the rail looking out at the sea. There was no breeze tonight and the skies where clear. If one looked closely they could see the mermaids far out in the water playing. Caspian didn't appear to be looking at anything. He had a far off look in his eyes.

Lucy had seen that look before. Susan got it when she started out the window. Peter would get the same look when he looked at the sky. Lucy was never sure, but she felt that people got that look when they were thinking about something they no longer had.

When Caspian saw that Lucy had come to join her he said, "Queen Lucy, what are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," Lucy said truthfully standing next to the King. They stood together, gazing out at the ocean.

"I could not sleep as well," said Caspian. He reached his hand out like he was about to pat Lucy but she gave him a look and he pulled his hand back.

"I have been meaning to talk to you," Lucy said suddenly. Caspian looked a wee bit shocked and confused.

"About what?" He asked. Lucy wished she knew why Caspian seemed so forlorn.

"I am not completely sure," Lucy said honestly. "Peter and Susan made it very clear that I was to speak with you, but neither of them said about what exactly." At this Caspian seemed to perk up.

"What did they say to you?" Caspian asked expectantly. Lucy tilted her head from side to side as she thought about it.

"Peter wanted to know what was wrong. He knew Cair Paravel was rebuilt. But he said you had been acting strangely. He said you were depressed and that I was to find out everything that had been happening." Lucy said.

"What about Susan? What did she say?" Caspian said, and Lucy could see in his face that this was what he was more interested in. Lucy reached into her pocket looking for the ribbon and realized that she had left it in her other clothes.

"I'll be right back," Lucy said, taking a run to her cabin. She threw her clothes in the air looking for it. _Where did I put it? If I have lost it Susan will be so cross with me._

Finally after checking nearly all of her pockets Lucy found it. She ran back to find that Caspian had not moved and inch. It appeared almost like he was holding his breath.

"Here," Lucy said handing the ribbon to Caspian as she caught her breath. Caspian turned it over in his hands several times looking mystified. It was a very simple ribbon, the kind that one might use to tie their hair or use for trim. It was purple and at the very bottom were several tiny stitches that clearly were a C, an X, an S and a P.

"She said that this was for good luck and your sword."

At these words, Caspian's face lit up. He gave Lucy the biggest smile she had ever seen on him.

"Thank you very much Lucy," Caspian said tucking the ribbon into his pocket. "It means a lot."

"Is it a personal joke of some kind?" Lucy asked. Caspian nodded his head still smiling. "You still have to talk to me about why you have been so depressed recently, or Peter will never leave me alone." Lucy said with the determination of the adult she had once been.

Caspian looked at Lucy for a moment and she realized that he looked terribly sad. Lucy was suddenly worried that she didn't want to know why Caspian was sad. She had a sinking kind of feeling in her stomach.

"It's hard," was all Caspian said at first, "being King."

"Well I know that!" Lucy said like that was the most obvious thing ever. "Unless you have forgotten, I was Queen once."

"Yes, but you, Queen Lucy, ruled with help. I rule alone," said Caspian, he was looking out at the ocean as if answers were floating out there somewhere.

"That can't be true, you have Reepicheep and Trumpkin and your tutor," Lucy said worriedly.

"That I do, but sometimes friends are no substitution for family," Caspian said, turning his head slowly to face Lucy. "It's a terrible thing to have no real family." Lucy didn't know why, but she felt as if his word had a deeper second meaning._ I wish I was older again and could understand._

"When you get home, tell Peter that I am fine. I am just stressed from trying to keep two populations at peace that have been at war for centuries," said Caspian after a pause. "And tell Susan that I will treasure it forever."

Lucy nodded her head. They both knew that she would be leaving soon. When they reached the end of the world, Lucy, Edmund and Eustace would return to their world.

Lucy wasn't ready to leave Narnia again. She was not ready to face her brother and sister and tell them they had been right. Peter would be broken up. Lucy was sure of that. Peter always acted strong, but after last time he had changed a little. Lucy suspected that he spent so much time in politics in an attempt to forget his pain.

Susan had been different. Susan would read for hours. Lucy had been worried about Susan the most. Peter would live, but Susan was the sensitive member of the family. Peter was the one with all the pride and the temper. Edmund always had the quick tongue and faster mind. Lucy had been told she was the energy of them all; she was their firecracker as her father had often said.

But Susan, she was quite and smart. She loved books and word games. When she was sad, she wouldn't talk for days. At the same time she always tried to act like an adult or mother. Lucy was extremely worried about what Susan would do when she got home.

"Queen Lucy," Caspian said after a long while. Lucy looked up at Caspian to see he was again staring off at the sea. "Tell Queen Susan…" Caspian paused as if the gain courage. "Tell her that I will see her again, and that I love her."

Lucy looked up to see that for the first time since she had been back to Narnia the smile on Caspian's face reached his eyes. And suddenly Lucy knew, deep down, that her sister would be just fine.

* * *

Hi readers!

I did in fact use a few lines from the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. This chapter takes place at the end of the book for those of you not familiar you might want to Wiki the book just to brush up.

For those of you super nerds I switched a line. What Ramandu's daughter says to Caspian, he originally said to her. I thought it was clever to make be the one to say it but have him not care.

Some of you might wonder why I have Lucy be so upset about the Lady being pretty. I did that because I remember when I was that age. I have an older cousin and we went to the same school back then. She is very pretty and very blonde. I was constantly compared to her and am sad to say that to this day I resent blondes. (sorry if you are one) So I felt that Lucy as an awkward teen who is still growing might feel the same way when every one starts to pay attention to the lady.

If you still are interested in the orange juice interview say so in your review and leave a way for me to send you the link.

I really want to make a music video for this story so if you are interested please contact me! Lyrics tonight are from How to Save a Life by the Fray.

Also to Random Person: Please don't stalk me. I have enough trouble as it is. But thanks for all the support

Review! You know you want to!

-E


	8. Being Open

You tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself, 'cause things will never be the same.

* * *

"Clutch! The clutch Edmund!" Susan screamed in terror.

"I got it!" Edmund shouted back as the car lurched forward.

"Gas!"

"Clutch!" _I am going to die teaching my brother to drive._

"I don't want to die! I'm too young! I don't even have boobs yet!" Lucy screamed from the back seat.

"Not helping Lu!" Edmund yelled back as he hit third.

"LET OFF THE GAS, EASE ON THE CLUTCH!" Susan yelled right before the car stalled.

"I know already Susan!" Edmund shouted back as he shifted gears. The car lurched forward about to stall before he stepped back on the gas.

"Aslan, take me now!" Lucy said griping her seat for dear life. She looked like she was about to either vomit or pass out.

"BRAKE!" Susan shouted as Edmund approached an intersection. She was really regretting this idea.

* * *

Their mother had put it in their heads. Susan and her parents had gotten home from America last week, Peter was still at the professor's, and Lucy and Edmund had been acting strange since they got back from their aunts. Their mother had thought a new adventure might cheer them up.

Susan agreed until their mother suggested they should teach Edmund to drive. She had fought the proposal with all her might but ultimately submitted. No force is quite as strong as a mother on a guilt trip.

She had lost then and begrudgingly agreed. Lucy had insisted on tagging along, not truly understanding how life threatening her decision was. So there they were, Edmund shifting the car, Susan yelling directions, and Lucy screaming at the top of her lungs.

* * *

After another half hour of hoarse screams and frantic prayers they finally reached the outer part of Finchley.

"How about we stop here?" Susan said when they reached an empty field. Edmund parked the car and Lucy tumbled out of the back seat in a hurry.

"LAND!" Lucy shouted in joy as she threw herself onto the grass. Susan laughed slightly at Lucy's over the top reaction.

"It wasn't that bad," Edmund said in a huff. Susan and Lucy exchanged glances that clearly said other wise. "I hate you both," Edmund declared while walking away.

"Oh Ed, come back," Susan said trying not to laugh. "We are just teasing!" She pleaded with her little brother. He looked over his shoulder at her as if he didn't believe it just yet. Susan tried to look apologetic and it must have worked because Edmund turned around and walked back.

"Sorry Ed," Lucy said from the grass. She had yet to get up.

"It's okay," Edmund said finally. Susan gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"So, which one of you two is going to fess up to what happened?" Susan asked with a smile. She watched as Lucy and Edmund had a silent argument. Lucy would glare and Edmund would tilt his head as if to say she should talk. The motions would then be reversed. Finally Lucy caved.

"We went back to Narnia," Lucy said hesitantly. Susan wanted to roll her eyes. She was getting terribly tired of being treated like a glass doll. She knew this was Peter's doing. He always told Lucy and Edmund that Susan was fragile._ Let's see how fragile I am when he gets back._

"I know Lu," Susan said. Lucy and Edmund looked a little shocked. "It's not exactly like the two of you are great actors. I knew the second you got home," She said. Edmund suddenly looked sheepish. He always felt the worst about not telling the whole truth, ever since the first time with the witch.

"We saw Caspian," Edmund said tentatively.

This was news to Susan. She had been hoping that he would still be alive, but it had nearly been a year. _Time must not flow constantly._ Susan made a rolling hand motion signaling that they should continue.

"It's only been a year there too," Lucy said excitedly. Susan could feel her face light up. She wanted to hold it back. She had been trying so hard to seem calm about everything but she couldn't contain her joy. _It had only been a year. That means my message might not have fallen on deaf ears._ Then her rationality tried to chime in. _You really need to move on from this. _She mentally scolded her smarter half. _Oh do shut up._

Edmund took the lead finally. He spilled the details of the story. His astonishment about Eustace coming too, Caspian's quest to find the lost Lords, and all the enchantments were told in great detail.

He must have spent at least an hour describing the ship alone. Lucy would interrupt every now and then to add her own details. She had shamefully told her story about wishing to be pretty like Susan. Susan hugged her sister and promised that if she just waited, one day she would be beautiful too.

"That's funny, Caspian said the same thing," Lucy said with a sad smile.

"He should know," Susan said with a teasing smile, "he is a boy."

"I suppose you are right," Lucy said. Susan couldn't help but feel something in that moment. Caspian had been there for her little sister when she couldn't be. _As if he wasn't perfect enough already. _Susan groaned internally. _I am doomed. My standards just keep increasing. At this rate I will be an old maid._

Edmund hardly noticed that his sisters had stopped paying attention. He was so caught up in reliving his last adventure. Susan had to laugh at several points in the story. _I so wish I could have seen that for myself. _She wished she could have seen Eustace as a dragon or Caspian in chains as a slave.

Finally Edmund reached the end of his story of the trip and the meeting with the star. Susan couldn't help but brace for bad news.

"And then this woman came out. I don't think I will ever see anyone more beautiful if I live to be a hundred," Edmund said with a star struck look._ I don't think I want to hear this._

"She had the most prefect blonde hair," Edmund continued. Susan had a sinking feeling in her stomach. Then, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Lucy was miming choking herself.

"It was awful!" Lucy said, ignoring Edmund as he continued to talk about the Lady. "All of the men from the ship where drooling over her." _Oh God._ "Caspian was the only sensible one of the lot." _Wait, what?_

"What do you mean?" Susan asked holding her breath. _Be reasonable Susan. Do not make a big deal out of this._

"He was the only one not drooling over the lady," Lucy said with a smile that clearly said she was proud of Caspian. "He didn't even seem interested when she asked to speak to him when he returned."

"If I didn't know better, I could have sworn he was ignoring her completely," Edmund said sounding upset. "Its like he didn't even notice her." _Oh, god. I am doomed._

"That's because, unlike some people, Caspian has some sense," Lucy said challenging Edmund. He rolled his eyes at his sister.

"I am going to practice shifting," Edmund said. Feeling his portion of the story was finished, he got up and walked towards the car.

On the way he gave Susan a squeeze on the shoulder. She looked back over it as he walked away. She knew what he was going through, she had been there once. It still stung not being able to go back. To Edmund the wound was fresh.

"Susan," Lucy said softly. Susan turned back to look at her little sister. "There's more." Susan took a deep breath. This is what she had been waiting for. To hear about her little sister's talk with the King. She gave Lucy a nod and told her to proceed.

"He said…He said he was fine," Lucy started. "I asked why he had been so depressed. He misses his family. He said that being King was hard because he was all alone." Susan didn't want to speak, didn't want to breath. "He was different, he spent so much time with Edmund and I. I think he knew some how that he wouldn't see us again. I think it was hurting him."

Susan felt a small part of herself break under the weight of these words.

"I gave him the ribbon," Lucy said after a moment. Susan's head shot up from where she had been looking at the grass.

"And?" Susan asked swallowing the lump in her throat.

"He said he will treasure it forever. He also said he will see you again and that…that he loves you," Lucy said looking at her sister. Her face spoke volumes. Susan could see that her sister was worried about her. She could see the brazen hero worship of Caspian. She could also see the overpowering sadness that Lucy felt. _I might as well buy ten cats right now. If only I really could see him again._

Susan could feel her composure breaking down. Her tough, outer shell was cracking. She threw herself at Lucy and hugged her fiercely. Susan felt Edmund's hand on her shoulder for support. He had never been one for hugs; this was the closest anyone ever got to one.

"Thank you Lucy," Susan said but the words were muffled by her sister's hair.

"I believe him, you know," Lucy said still clinging to Susan. Susan pulled back and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" Susan asked as tears threatened her eyes.

"I mean I think he was right, when he said you would see each other again," Lucy tried to comfort her sister, "I can just tell."

* * *

Hi lovely readers!

Thanks again for all of the amazing reviews. You have officially made this story the most reviewed Suspian story on the site. Go You! Not to mention the 1022 hits as of midnight eastern time.

Two things for this chapter: First the driving scene is out of my real life. My boyfriend was the one screaming though. Second I couldn't help but have the line "Be Reasonable Susan". This was also the first chapter I have written completely from Susan's point of view. Her mind seems to be tricky for me to pin down. I hope I did her justice.

Quote is from Honestly by Cartel.

-E


	9. Concentration

Our concentration it contains a deadly flaw, our conversations change from words to blah, blah blah

* * *

Caspian would have rather stayed at the end of the world. He was in no mood to return to the island with Aslan's table and the rest of his crew. He didn't want to face their joyous banter, their excitement for home.

The crew would be so glad for their adventure all of them longing for home. But Caspian couldn't decide if he wanted to go back or not. The end of the world had been so peaceful. When he returned he would have to start moving to Cair Paravel. That alone would take months. He was most defiantly not in the mood for that.

Nor was he in the mood to stay here, far away from everything. He didn't want to stay on that peaceful island forever, he would die of boredom. He didn't want to talk to the star's daughter.

He had just said good bye to Lucy and Edmund for the last time. _I will never see them again as long as I live._ He thought he had the right to sulk or mop or something.

He wanted to do nothing. He was too cramped in his tiny cabin and at the same time there was too much room. _Am I depressed or restless? _He wanted to crawl into bed and not get out for a month. He wanted time alone to mourn. He didn't want to face the Telmarines and his advisors. He didn't wan to deal with the scores of women that would be waiting at the castle.

* * *

It had started at new years. There had been a ball. Caspian had been surprised to see that the majority of the attendants were women. But he hadn't thought anymore about it. He had been busy with the construction of Cair Paravel. Not to mention the endless meetings and complaints he had to deal with.

All he had wanted to do for New Years was get drunk with Trumpkin, but his advisors had insisted on a ball, so there had been a ball. And Caspian had still gotten drunk with Trumpkin; he just had to try harder to sit still because other people were around.

And then again at the spring festival it had happened. It was on this second time that he noticed the increase of women at the party. That's when he had cornered his advisors about the situation.

"Why are there so many women here? The last time I looked at the guest list I had invited the lords," Caspian said to one of his head Telmarine advisors.

"Sir, many of the men you invited sent their daughters or sisters instead," The man replied.

"Why would they do that? I invited them so I could talk to them," Caspian said looking confused and upset. He had been counting on this time to persuade the lords on some land reforms he had been working on.

"Your Majesty, you have not yet taken a Queen. The lords are hoping that one of their daughters or sisters might catch your eye," the advisor had said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Caspian had groaned.

He ended up sneaking out of that party to get drunk with Trumpkin. So the night had not been a complete disaster.

It was not long after that the rest of his advisors started to pressure him to find at least a few suitable candidates for Queen. They kept insisting that he was in need of a wife. They wanted him to marry some one important, some one wealthy, and some one with power. They bothered him day and night to dance with the different women at the balls they started to host.

It had driven him mad. He skipped the balls and hid in the library when his advisors looked for him. Suddenly, it was impossible to find the King. He got very good at walking behind curtains quickly.

_Didn't they understand that he had bigger things on his mind? Didn't they know about the tragedy that was occurring in another world? His friends were going to die and they wanted him to talk to women?_

The only ones he could stand talking to any more were his Narnian advisors. Suddenly, Caspian had become very interested in the nesting habits of griffins, the land feuds between centaurs and the fawns grazing patterns.

"You are trying to rule two separate people; don't they have better things for you to do?" Trumpkin had said when Caspian had been hiding in the library one day. Caspian had been glad that at least one of his friends could care less about his love life. All of his human friends kept asking him about the different woman he had been forced to dance with.

The real shocker had come when he had spoken to Glenstorm. Caspian had wanted his opinion on some treaties when the centaur had said something he wasn't expecting.

"The stars say you shall have your queen at the end of the year and in three you shall have you heir," Glenstorm had said a simply as he said all things.

"The stars tell you all that?" Caspian had asked shocked. He had told no one of Aslan's story. No one knew of Susan's return but him. _So how could he possibly know it would be a year?_ Glenstorm had nodded.

"They also tell me that the queen will be an old soul," Glenstorm had said, with an almost knowing voice. Caspian had suddenly got the idea that maybe he should have paid more attention to his lessons on the stars.

And now after all of his hard work at avoiding his advisors, after leaving Narnia on a journey simply to have some time to himself, he was worse off than he had started. He was miserable. Not to mention he was going to have to deal with yet another woman interested in putting the title of "Queen" in front of her name.

* * *

Caspian looked out his window to see that while he had been thinking, they had returned to the island. He could hear the few crew members that had remained were getting ready to depart and join their comrades. He knew that he would be stuck on the island for a month or so before the winds changed with the season. _I just want to be left alone._

"Your Majesty? We are ready to depart," came one of the men from the other side of the door. _Well I suppose I can pretend to care for a few hours._

Caspian regretted coming the moment he saw the table. The men were cheering and singing. The party was in full swing. All Caspian wanted to do was sulk. He would have liked to be back in his cabin where he could sit alone and deal with everything, not here forced to smile and shake hands.

He did his best, he tried to smile. He tried to eat and drink with every one else, but the truth was it was taking more effort that he cared to use. He had just made up his mind to return to the ship alone when what he had been dreading happened. The lady sat down next to him. _I knew I should have left sooner._

"Your Majesty, how nice to see you again," said the Lady. _I don't get the thing with blondes; they just too much like the White Witch to me. Is it because there are so few of them?_

"I had been hoping to see you again."

_I'd been hoping to be left alone, I guess only one of us can win._

"I hear that your mission was successful."

_Is she seriously still talking? I haven't said anything yet! Are all girls like this? No, not all, just the ones I have been forced to be around recently._

"The lords have woken back up."

_Yes, I can see that. Just because I am a boy doesn't mean I think with my dick, I do happen to have a brain._

"And now you are to stay here for the month until the winds change with the seasons…"

_I think I have changed my mind. Screw the wind, we can row. Anything, as long as I get left alone._

"What a pleasure it is to be your host…"

_Is she coming on to me? I think she is coming on to me? Argh, I think I am going to vomit._

"I am sure you will enjoy the wait…"

_Wait, what's her name again? Oh, that's right, I don't care._

"What happened to your companions?"

_Uh, they left. Went back to their world to die. Oh crap, now I am sad again. Don't show emotion! Think of something! Dagger! You can play with your dagger. Yes, brilliant idea._

"I do so hope you will have a pleasant stay on our island."

_I would enjoy it more if you left me alone._

"So I hear that you are looking for a Queen?"

_No, not really. In fact I am not interested. It was my advisors idea! NOT MINE! I swear!_

"That must be hard, having all those women bothering you all the time…"

_And what exactly are you doing? Not bothering me? LIES AND SLANDER!_

"So I was thinking, perhaps you might be interested in a walk tomorrow."

_I would rather stab forks into my eyes. Oh look, for_ks.

"The island is truly lovely."

_I wonder how high I can count while she is still talking._

* * *

One hour later…..

_One million, that's it. I give up on this game._

"And that's when I told the men that they were welcome to explore the island."

_Wait a second, didn't she tell this story already? Is she talking in circles? She must be trying to get a response out of me; well it's not going to work!_

Suddenly some one stood up.

"Your Majesty, I think it is time we return to the ship," said one of the crew._ YES! PRAISE ASLAN, YES! Thank you for saving me! _

Caspian nodded his head and got up from the table. He gave a quick nod to the lady._ Just because I find her really really really dull doesn't mean I have to be rude._ The rest of the crew was already headed back and Caspian had to do a slight jog to catch up.

He had ever intention of remaining on the ship for the next month. He would think of something to do, he had to. The alternative would drive him nuts.

* * *

Meanwhile a mouse and a lion were talking about the future.

They stood on the edge of the great cliff. Here, in the true Narnia, one could see the past, the present and the future if only they peered at the clouds. Aslan and Reepicheep watched as Caspian ignored the star's daughter. They saw Edmund learn to drive. Lucy's day dreams became reality. Susan's hidden tears were revealed. Peter's thoughts rang through the air like a song. Here all was exposed.

"You are to say that they will die?" Reepicheep asked in horror. Aslan nodded his head solemnly.

"Unless the course of events is changed drastically, they will," Aslan said sadly.

"Sire, why can you not do something about it?" Reepicheep asked the great lion.

"My power is here in Narnia. In their world I can do very little. To save Susan alone will take nearly all of my current power. I will be helpless for months afterward," Aslan said staring off into the clouds.

"Is there nothing that can be done?" Reepicheep said, looking at the clouds as well. He watched the train crash. He saw what would befall each of the Pevensies and his heart broke.

"In this universe no, perhaps in some other they will all live," Aslan said softly. When Reepicheep finally looked away from the clouds, he found that Aslan was gone and he was alone.

* * *

Hi readers! Thanks for all the reviews.

I know this chapter is short, sorry about that. Fact is that I am running out of things to do with Caspian before the train crash, while at the same time I have so much more to do with the kids. I want to do certain things with the kids but at this point they have more time than he does. Because their time is moving differently. And Susan is going to be moved through time as well. So basically if you guys want to see something in particular please tell me.

I am thinking of making a forum for this story and my other future stories so I can talk to all of you more about the deeper meaning of different parts of the story, as well as music and future ideas. What do you think?

Quote is from Maintain Consciousness by Relient K.

Thanks to my beta Sami, and my boyfriend. He is where I got most of those inner thoughts from.

Love

-E


	10. That Party

That party, that party was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Black eye, I'm bleeding, but I'm breathing by myself.

* * *

Peter had always known he had a temper problem. He would be the first one to admit it, Edmund being the second to say so, most likely very loudly with lots of hand waving. But he thought he had been working on it. He had made a real effort to calm down, especially now that he was at college.

He practiced counting to ten; he even took up boxing along with his fencing classes. Although being in the class ridiculous, he was already better than the instructors. But just having time to beat the crap out of something did help. His mother had even talked about getting him a punching bag for his next birthday.

Any time Peter thought he was going to get into a fight, he would try and think what Susan would say when she saw him.

"Not again!"

Or perhaps, "Come home bruised again and I will never speak to you again."

"Peter Rillian Pevensie, you are in so much trouble!" That was his least favorite, but the most realistic.

He did have his limits thought. There were certain things he simply wouldn't stand for. He had made a list, once, of the things he couldn't stand. It helped him to know when he would need to watch his temper. On the top of that list was an insult to his family.

Peter had no delusions about his home life. He knew very well that his siblings and he appeared to be very strange to others.

His arrogance upset teachers and adults. He got in trouble very often. Teachers hated him and often gave him bad marks for it.

Susan's general anti-social nature raised questions about their parents from every one. People asked why she was so quiet, why she had so few friends. Concerned parents bothered his mother constantly about Susan. Her lack of suitors was also raising eyebrows in town. She was pretty, so why did none of the boys seem interested.

Edmunds extreme over-analysis of everything bothered their peers the most, other kids were simply not found of Ed. He was the top of his class. The teachers loved him and hated him at the same time. They found it annoying when he would correct them, but loved that he was engaged in all of his classes. The other kids looked down on Edmund.

Lucy was the one exception. She got along with everybody, which of course raised more questions. Lucy always had tons of friends. She was the star of her class. The only thing anyone ever said was about her over active imagination with her paintings.

Over the years he had heard it all. What the things teachers said about him, about his attitude. He had beaten anyone who thought to call Susan names or whisper about how quiet she was. He had heard what the other kids said about Edmund and how they purposely left him out of things. He had even heard the whispers about how it was such a wonder that the youngest was the only acceptable one of them all.

Peter originally had thought that once he got to college, the comments would stop, that he would be able to start over. But his reputation had followed him in the form of several boys from his old school. He had avoided them with fervor, until now.

The party had been the talk of campus for days. It was to be held along with the neighboring girls' school. Peter had been looking foreword to the party. He had daydreamed about it. He imagined what it would be like, to dance again.

The truth was that even in this day and age his contact with girls was extremely limited. This would have been his first chance to have any real interaction with girls since he was young.

The party had been everything he had hoped for. It wasn't as grand as the balls in Narnia, but nothing could ever really compare to that. But he had fun for once. He danced with several girls and chatted with his friends.

Things had been going along just fine until he had spotted Charlie nearby. Charlie had gone to Peter's school for years and he was particularly mean. Peter had just turned to walk away when it started.

"Hey Pevensie, I heard next year your sister will be here to join us," Charlie called out to him. It was true; Susan had been accepted to the girls' school. Peter silently wondered how Charlie had found out.

"Maybe she might finally speak to some one," another boy chimed in. Peter stood perfectly still, he was counting to ten. _One… two…three…_

"You know I hear it's the quiet ones you have to keep an eye on," Charlie was moving closer to Peter. A hush had come over that part of the room. The girls were slowly backing away, sensing what was going to happen. The boys on the other hand were slowly moving closer. _Four…Five…Six…_

"I can't wait to give her a try," Charlie said standing directly behind Peter.

Now he circled Peter like a predatory cat.

"I am sure she is the real wild one on the inside," Charlie said making a lewd gesture. _Seven… Eight… Nine…_

"From what I hear," the other boy started._ Don't._ "She has never even had a boyfriend." Peter clenched and unclenched his fists. _Don't._

"I can't wait to be the first one to give her a try," Charlie said standing in front of Peter.

It was an instant flash, red hot fury encompassed Peter. He was used to the sudden surge that came when he finally let go of his temper. Charlie didn't even see the first punch coming.

The fight was fast, well for Peter it was. Compared to bloody battles in Narnia, a fist fight lasted mere seconds. He didn't really remember winning; he knew for sure he had not lost when he staggered out of the hall into the night. He had a black eye and his stomach hurt, but Peter had just beaten three other boys.

Two of them lay on the floor holding either their stomachs or their head. Charlie was trying to stop his bloody nose from dripping everywhere. He might have been cursing Peter, but no one could really hear him with his hand over his mouth.

It was expected. He had fought against more opponents and won. For goodness sake he had fought off an entire regiment of Telmarines, and that was only his most recent battle.

And the last time he had been in a fight he had worn chain mail, which greatly restricted his movement. But tonight he had been free to swing as he pleased. Not to mention the boxing classes had made his punches that much harder.

No one said anything to him as he left. No boy came to help him, the girls pulled away like he was a disease. Peter didn't notice at all. In that moment he was High King Peter, ruler of Narnia, and no childish squabble would bring him down.

Tomorrow the girls would talk about the fight in the dorm. Many would talk about the insanity of the blonde boy and his fight. Others would praise his courage. One girl, a redhead named Emily, would say that she had never seen a king in person, but thought that the blonde boy walked like one.

Within a week he would be the favorite of half the school. He was their hero, bravely fighting to defend his sister's honor. Girls would sight over him in their day dreams. Doodles saying "Mrs. Peter Pevensie" covered notebooks.

A month later Emily would approach Peter on a Saturday afternoon. He would be out side reading about politics. She would come up to the bench and sit down next to him. Neither would say anything, but next Saturday they would both return.

Three Saturdays later Peter would ask her to dinner.

* * *

Hi readers! Thanks again for the great response!

I am sorry that this chapter is so short, but frankly this is exactly how long it needed to be. The next chapter will hopefully be longer. For those of you who have been dying for me to do Edmund can rejoice. The next chapter is going to be all Edmund!

I hated having to add OC characters but I needed to for this chapter. Personally I hate nearly all OC characters in stories. They drive me nuts. I can't stand them, I refuse to read stories with them. So hopefully you will be able to tolerate them more than I can. Although I think this chapter might be one of the few where you see any OC characters.

For those of you paying attention my made Peter's middle name Rillian. Which for those of you super nerds is the name of Caspian's son. I did that on purpose. I think you can figure out the rest. If not you will have to wait and see.

Today I finally got a job so I am sorry to say that in the near future the updates might take longer. I am going to try and keep the updates a frequent as possible, but please give me some slack. I need the money.

Today's quote is from Becky Starz by Forever The Sickest Kids.

Love

-E


	11. More Than You Know

Can you sense the feeling that there's more than what you know?

* * *

Edmund realized how silly he must have looked; giving his walls the death glare. There he stood in the center of his rather plain room staring angrily at paper on the walls like if he stared long enough the paper would talk. He had, for one brief moment, mused with the thought that perhaps the paper might talk to him.

Lucy had opened the door a moment ago, seen him and shut it right away. He was not in a good mood at this particular moment in time.

The idea had come to him after his third trip to Narnia. Gears turning in the back of his mind slowly for months, Edmund had spent hours considering this. Finally he gave up and did was he had been meaning to for so long.

He was meticulous. He measured two inches and then drew two parallel lines at exactly those points. He must have done this on an entire notebook's worth of paper. He lined it up so the lines on each piece of paper connected. He had then marked off every half inch between the lines.

It had taken him two days four hours and twenty seven minutes to complete the two extensive time lines. Each half an inch represented one year.

The top row of paper was Narnia, and the lower row of paper was England. He had spent about half of his time marking the years and important dates. Narnia had so many more important events. England had taken him only about five minutes to really complete because there were only four real points of interest.

Paper wrapped all the way around his room. The Narnia time line was four times as long as the England time line.

The Narnia line started with its creation and ended with his last trip, which was a span of 1600 years or so. The England time line started when the Professor had first discovered Narnia to the last time Edmund had gone, that time line only lasted for about fifty years.

The difference was easy to see. But that was not the problem; the problem was the inconsistency of the difference. Two hundred years in Narnia equaled thirty years in England at first. Then suddenly one year in England was equal to 1300 years. Finally one year in England was equal to one year in Narnia.

Edmund had been staring at the walls trying to figure out these inconstancies for hours. He stood there, in the center of his room glaring at his walls.

"Good God Ed, what are you doing?" Susan said coming into his room. Edmund didn't even look at her, he just keep glaring at the paper on his walls.

"I am redecorating, what do you think?" He said sarcastically. Susan rolled her eyes.

"I think you could have used some more color," Susan said with a bored tone. "What are you really doing?"

"Attempting to solve a time space problem way beyond my level of comprehension," Edmund said simply. Susan laughed at that.

"Time space? Why would you want to solve one of those problems?" Susan said, taking a seat on his bed. Edmund finally gave up his staring contest with the walls and took a seat next to his sister.

"Because it has been bothering me," Edmund said, rubbing his face.

Susan gave her brother a look that clearly said she didn't understand why.

"I got to thinking last month about how it had been 1300 years in Narnia after the first time. But when Lucy and I went back it had only been a year," Edmund said leaning back.

"And?" Susan asked, clearly not getting it.

"And I got the feeling that something was off about that," Edmund couldn't explain why it bothered him so much, but he felt that it was important.

"So, have you figured anything out?" Susan said looking at the paper closest to them.

"The only explanation that makes any sense is that time in Narnia follows at a constant rate. What's happening is we get moved either forward or backward in that time line," Edmund said motioning to the wall.

An hour ago he had changed the set up. Now the England time line stood broken into pieces so that their visits to Narnia where on the same part of the wall for both time lines.

"How do you explain the Professor entering the Narnia during its creation?" Susan asked catching on to Ed's thought process.

"His trip was voluntary, he went there on purpose. Every time we have gone Aslan called us," said Edmund. "That has got to be the difference. Aslan only brings us when we are needed but the magic rings that the Professor used are of their own power."

Susan stood up and looked at the walls. She paced the room exactly five times before sitting down next to Edmund. She leaned forward and placed her chin in her hands.

"That seems to be the only logical explanation," Susan said bringing up an old family joke. Lucy would often make cracks that logically they were all crazy; most of this was often directed at Susan. She had eventually given up and embraced the joke.

Edmund smiled at his sister and rolled back on his bed. He had an explanation for the time space problem. He just didn't like the explanation, because if he was right that meant that the only time Aslan called them had been when Narnia was about to be destroyed.

And now? Now none of them were going back. Edmund suspected that Eustace might return in the future, but that idea bothered him. Eustace was not the warrior that he and Peter were. Eustace had not become a king or forged himself in the heat of battle. All Eustace had done was become a dragon and then turned nice.

Would Aslan really call Eustace back when Narnia needed another hero? Would Eustace be able to handle it?

Then there was the issue of not returning to begin with. It didn't make any real sense. If Edmund assumed that Narnia was a real, completely separate world, how could he ever be too old for it? That wouldn't explain the existence of the Telmarines or the Calmars in the same world.

How could one be too old to return to a world that had adults? Simply there were too many holes.

Edmund had tried for days to wrap his head around some of these questions. He had ended up yelling at the walls with a head ache. It had been a great moment when his bother had come to tell him it was time for dinner to find him screaming at the wall.

"I DON'T GET IT! WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE?" Edmund had been shouting at a particular spot on the time line. His mother had stood at the door shocked for a moment before slowly back out of the room. Edmund had missed dinner that night.

"What now?" Susan asked, pulling Edmund back to the present. He looked at his watch.

"Lunch?" Edmund replied hopefully. Susan smiled and laughed.

"I mean with all of the time lines," Susan corrected herself.

"That seems to be where I am stumped. I have an answer to my question, but no where to go from there," Edmund leaned forward so he and Susan were level.

"Why not write about it," Susan suggested after a short pause.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your teachers keep telling mother what a great writer you are, so why not write about all of it?" Susan said motioning towards the paper on the walls. "I mean, Peter says he thinks that perhaps he went to Narnia to learn courage and politics so he can one day change the world. Maybe you went to Narnia to write about it."

Edmund simply stared at his sister.

"What? You keep talking about how Narnia has so many different theological and philosophical applications," Susan said putting her hands on her hips.

"It's just," Edmund started. "It's so brilliant I feel like a complete fool for not thinking of it myself."

"That's why you have older sisters, to give their genius little brothers all the really brilliant ideas," Susan said laughing, but Edmund was too wrapped up in the possibilities.

"If I get published I could get every great mind to help me. Hundreds of millions could ponder this. There could be infinite solutions that I could never even imagine!" Edmund was practically jumping up and down. Edmund walked over to Susan and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "Well done!"

Susan laughed at this. Leave it to her brother to be overjoyed and still not hug her. The boy was simply impossible.

"Well do you at least want lunch first?" Susan asked before Ed could get a chance to start writing. Edmund actually looked like he had to think about this.

"I do suppose I will be able to think better on a full stomach," Susan rolled her eyes at Edmund's response.

They trudged down the stairs to find a note from their mother.

Susan you are in charge of dinner. I had to return to work.

"Looks like its just you and me," Susan said pulling out some meat for sandwiches.

"What about Lu?" Edmund said taking a seat at the table.

"She went over to Mary's house hours ago," Susan searched through the cupboard for the bread.

Edmund didn't really hear the response, because something else had just crossed his mind. _It's a month ago today, and she hasn't talked about it since._

"Why haven't you ever spoken to me about what happened?" Edmund said suddenly. Susan stopped what she was doing a quirked one eyebrow at him.

"You and I have never spoken about what happened between you and HIM," Edmund said, reluctant to use the name incase it upset Susan. "You talk about it to Peter all the time, and Lucy said that the two of you have spoken of it often. So why not me?"

Susan stood at the counter with her thinking face on. Edmund watched as first Susan looked confused, upset, and finally sure of herself.

"Well, it's because you are my little brother," Susan said finally.

"So you can't talk to me about boys?" Edmund was a little offended.

"That's exactly what it means. Think about that first time you came across us, do you remember what you said?" Susan said giving Edmund an accusing look.

"Something about my eyes burning and you needing to put some clothes on…." Edmund said sheepishly.

"Exactly!" Susan said, setting a sandwich in front of him. "You are like the anti-affection king of the world. When was the last time you gave any one a hug?"

"That was different, you were half naked. This is you leaving me out of the loop!" Edmund said between mouthfuls.

"Alright, if you want to be in the loop so badly what is it that I haven't told you?" Susan took a bite out of her own sandwich.

"Do you love him?" Edmund asked, always one to get right to the point. Susan didn't respond right away. Instead she lifted both of her eye brows and kept chewing.

"You don't beat around the bush do you?" Susan said with a slight laugh. "Peter on the other hand will dance around the topic for hours, its much more fun that way."

"That's not an answer…" Edmund said, giving his sister a squinty eye glare. Susan just gave him a large smile clearly saying he wasn't going to get an answer.

"Fine, new question. What happened in Narnia between you two?" Edmund got the feeling if he wanted any kind of answer he was going to have to employ Peter's so called tactics.

"Stuff…" Susan said with an evil smile. Edmund groaned, she was being difficult on purpose.

"If he was your perfect man why do you think Aslan sent you back?" Edmund said posing a different kind of question.

"You already know that answer yourself Ed," Susan said with a sad smile.

It was true. Edmund had made up a huge theory when they had first been sent home to help Susan. He had written and entire essay about the fact that Narnia was there to teach them great lessons. He had explained in clear logic that Susan and Caspian must have met so the she could know what kind of man was right for her. He had based the idea on the fact that if not for Narnia he might have never learned to grow up.

When he had given the paper to Susan she had smiled and given him a kiss on the head. To which he was disgusted and told her never to do it again.

"You really do think everything is going to be fine?" Edmund asked in disbelief. He was still recovering from the fact that he would never go back. It was easy to say he doubted.

"That last two times we didn't listen to Lucy, look what happened," Susan said picking up their plates. "This time I am going to trust her. She says everything is going to be alright, then it will be. She says I will see him again, then I will. All I have to do now is wait."

Susan smiled at Edmund. She walked over and gave him a pat on the head before leaving the room.

He sat there longer, thinking. Something had been eating at him for a while. Narnia, its existence seemed to be moving toward something, toward some kind of end. The time lines pointed to it. But what was bothering him had been something thing Aslan had said.

"I will see you at the end." Those had been his exact words. The end? It was coming, maybe not tomorrow but soon. Edmund didn't like the implications of these facts.

_Maybe I should stop thinking and for once and just believe Lucy. BUT IT'S SO HARD!_

* * *

Hi lovely readers! Thanks again for all of the reviews, keep them up!

I want to personally thank Scooby Lady and her twin for their continuing objective and detailed reviews and thoughts about the story. If it weren't for their very concerned email this chapter would have been about two pages shorter. They gave me a swift kick to the head and reminded me that some of my readers wanted to see stuff about Caspian and Susan.

This chapter is all Edmund as you might have noticed. I got some comments about how I hadn't used him. I feel so bad because I really do love Edmund I just forgot about him for a while.

As some of you have guessed these are what I am calling the "Farewell" chapters. First Peter and now Edmund. Next will be Lucy. After that I am sorry to say that the train crash is next on the docket. Caspian will be back intermixed in there.

Quote today is from Open Up Your Eyes by Jeremy Camp.

Thanks of course to my wonderful beta Sam!

Love -E


	12. Chasing The Clock

The noise of the world is getting me caught up. Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it.

* * *

Caspian had decided to do it last month. He only had another two months before the dead line and he was tired of sneaking around with his information. He needed to tell everyone what was going to happen. More importantly, he needed to be able to explain some of his more odd actions.

It had been extremely complicated to order dresses and not explain who they were for. He wanted to have dresses prepared for when Susan did finally arrive so it was one less thing to worry about. But the task was proving difficult, especially since the hounds had not been called off in the marriage hunt; he still had to avoid most of the advisors.

Caspian had been forced to use his personal tailor for the job. The old man had given Caspian odd look but never spoken a word to anyone about the dresses. Caspian was thankful for small graces.

But the weight of the knowledge was starting to get to him. He had to tell someone, anyone.

First he had only told Trumpkin. The dwarf had cried and then gotten rather angry that Caspian had not shared the information sooner. After about half an hour of Trumpkin glaring at him, the dwarf finally forgave him.

Caspian had ended the encounter feeling better somehow. He knew he needed to tell others. He couldn't carry this by himself.

When Caspian told Glenstorm, the centaur simply explained that worse things had happened than a few going to the great beyond. It had not been the reaction he had been expecting, but then Glenstorm had seemed to already know. Caspian had not been sure if Glenstorm's reaction helped or hurt how Caspian was feeling.

After that, it was like the flood gates had opened. Caspian couldn't hold it in anymore. He knew that it was time for him to tell the people.

He had called a meeting of all the Narnians and Telmarines. Every village or family was to send at least one member to the speech.

Caspian had stayed up all night writing what he was going to say to his people._ How was he going to explain the death of the most beloved kings and queen in all of Narnia history? How was he going to explain why Susan would be spared? What would he say if the people had questions? _Aslan had not spoken to him since the voyage and he was worried that the people would not believe him without Aslan.

The morning of the speech had dawned and Caspian had hardly slept. He knew he must look a mess. He could tell that his hair was being unreasonable. He could feel the circles under his eyes and the tension in his face.

_I don't think I can do this,_ was all he could think as he walked toward the square, the same square where everyone had last seen the Kings and Queens of old.

Caspian didn't notice Glenstorm walking beside him until the centaur spoke.

"It's a heavy thing for one man to carry such a burden," he said with his usual cryptic ness.

"So, you believe I am right to tell the people?" Caspian asked.

He needed just one person to tell him he was doing the right thing, he might be king, but on the inside he was still a little boy with no parents and few friends.

Trumpkin had been avoiding him recently and none of his other advisors, not even the professor knew.

"I believe that they have the right to know. Whether this is the correct thing to do or not is up to you my King," Glenstorm said escorting Caspian closer to the square.

The two didn't say anything else as they walked. Caspian was too busy trying to go over exactly what he wanted to say, he needed this to be done right.

* * *

Glenstorm remained silent sensing the need of his king.

He knew that the dead line was coming soon. He knew more than the young King might ever truly know, and for a moment he pondered what that knowledge meant. He had known that the young King and the gentle Queen were in a way truly soul mates. He had seen it in their auras that first day.

He had seen their relationship when the others had been too busy with war. He had watched the glances and smiles. He had known then that they would forever be connected. But he had seen no future for them in the stars, only the steady progression of time.

And then it had all changed. He had watched in silent wonder as the stars changed their paths completely. He knew he was watching the future change, but at the time he had not known why.

He felt the urge often to reassure the young King of his ability to do what was needed. Glenstorm wanted to help his King, but at the same time knew his interference would change Caspian's actions, and it was so important that the young King learn to think for himself. So he remained silent so often.

* * *

They had reached the square and Caspian paused. He tried to look brave but inside he was extremely nervous.

"I don't think I am ready," Caspian said looking ahead at the crowd that had gathered.

"No one can ever be truly ready, my king. They can only do the best that they can," Glenstorm said wanting to reassure the young king. Caspian gave the centaur one last long look. He took a deep breath and walked toward his people.

"I come to you today with grave news from Lord Aslan," Caspian said. He could barely stop shaking, how in the world was he going to do this?

"In two months time, a great tragedy will befall all of Narnia," Caspian paused for a breath and felt the silence of the crowd.

"The Kings and Queens of old will be in an accident. They will die, except for Queen Susan."

The crowd went up in a roar. Caspian took another deep breath and continued.

* * *

Caspian could barely remember the rest of his speech and the questions that followed later that day in his study. He had the slightest memory of crying Narnians and angry Telmarines. He could remember Glenstorm helping him down from the stage when it was all over but before that his memory was hazy.

He had been so nervous and so sad. He was pretty sure he had cried, because he knew he felt like doing it again. _What kind of king are you? You keep crying!_

"I told the people of your desire to create a memorial to the Kings and Queens of old," said the Professor coming up behind Caspian in his study. "Any citizen with an item that could have belonged to them is to bring it to the castle in the next week."

Caspian looked at his Professor shocked. He hadn't told any one about those plans yet. The idea was to leave a wing of Cair Paravel as it would have been back when they ruled, along with some kind of memorial outside. Caspian had wanted to have some kind of official grave site for the people to visit.

"I saw your plans on your desk the other day," the Professor said frankly. "I knew you would be too shaken up to remember to mention it today."

"Thank you," Caspian said placing his head in his hands. "I am sorry I did not tell you sooner. I should have trusted you."

"I don't expect you to tell me every thing. And I had known that some thing was up for months now, my discovery the other day just confirmed my suspicions."

"I just keep thinking I should have told every one sooner, or not at all," Caspian said still in turmoil.

"You did the right thing today," said the Professor. "The people understand, perhaps not all of them, but they will. Any sooner would have been too soon, and not telling them would have been cruel."

"I suppose you are right. I just feel like I have failed everyone," Caspian said, sinking back into his self doubt. "I am a King. I rule one of the most magical and the most beautiful lands. And yet I can do nothing to stop this. I know they are going to die and all I can do is sit here and make plans for their graves."

"It is my understanding that even Lord Aslan is unable to stop this," the professor said after a moment. "Some times in life thing happen and no one can control it."

Caspian looked at his professor between his fingers. The professor looked worse than he normally did. Maybe Caspian wasn't the only one who was taking this badly. _I need to give him some time off after all of this is over._

"Everyday people die and no one can stop it," said the professor looking sadly at his king and student.

"The difference is that this time I know its coming," Caspian said rubbing his face.

"That should make it better," said the professor. "You have a chance that few get. You can make peace with this before it happens."

Caspian gave the professor a look that clearly stated he didn't understand. _How could I make peace with this?_

"I would have given anything to know that my wife was going to die before she did. I could have told her I loved her more. I could have said all those things I never got a chance to say. I will not get a chance to do that in this life time."

But you, you can do that! Lord Aslan told you that you would see sir Eustace again and that he would return to a time before their deaths. You have years to come up with what you want to say to them."

You can thank High King Peter once and for all properly. You can tell King Edmund all you wanted to tell him before. You can shower Queen Lucy with praise and support."

Beyond that you have the chance to have the future with Queen Susan that you could only dream of. You have a life time to help her."

Caspian looked down at his hands. The professor was right. He could do this. He would do his friends justice and when sir Eustace returned he would have a proper goodbye for all of them ready.

"No one is ever truly ready for death Caspian. It is the most final action in any life, but it's not the end." Caspian looked up at the professor.

The older man moved toward him as if to place a hand on his shoulder, and in a moment of weakness Caspian was no longer the King of Narnia, he was a scared young man who needed his mentor. The two hugged, Caspian burying his face in the professor's shoulder.

"You will laugh again. You will go one living and then one day you won't even feel the pain anymore."

* * *

Hi readers!

Sorry this took so long. My dad has cancer and this is the fourth time it has come back. He got a really nasty infection this week and it got pretty serious for a while there, so I was taking him to doctors appointments and generally dealing with that. I also happen to have a job so I do have to do real work some days.

I know I promised a Lucy chapter but with my current family situation this chapter just seemed more like what I needed to write. Lucy will be next and then the train crash.

Quote is from a song called Slow Me Down, I have no idea who wrote it.

-E


	13. Faith Enough For Each Of Us

One of us is big and brave, and one of us is tender hearted. One of us is temping fate and the last but not least of us has faith enough for each of us.

* * *

Lucy was sitting alone in the front room waiting for Peter. He was coming home from college today and she would be the only one to meet him. The front room sat in darkness and silence, the only movement Lucy's tapping foot.

Susan was working. She had gotten a job cleaning houses over the summer and had continued to work through the rest of the year. Lucy had over heard Susan saying something about needing to keep her self busy or she would go crazy. Lucy was worried that maybe Susan had been pretending to be okay with staying in England all this time.

Edmund was over at a friend's house. He had finally made some friends and was so happy to have new victims to listen to his theories that he was gone most of the time.

Their mother was busy running errands or something like that. Lucy hadn't really been listening when her mother had been talking. She was too excited to see her big brother again. They had not seen him since his brief break in the fall.

Lucy had been watching the window for hours, waiting for the car pull in the drive way. She knew she should be doing something else. She had a painting to finish and reading to catch up on for English class.

But she just couldn't tear herself from the window seat. She had really important news that she needed to tell Peter first. He was the eldest; he would know what they should do. She just had to wait until he got home. Then they could talk about this. _Everything is going to be fine. Peter will know what to do._

Lucy sat holding her breath waiting for him to return. She was bursting to talk to him.

And then after all the waiting, the car appeared and Lucy sprang from her seat and out the door, connecting with Peter half way up the stairs.

"Hi Lu!" Peter said wrapping his arms around his sister. "You've grown again!"

"That's what happens when you get older," Lucy said with a laugh. Peter reluctantly let go of his sister so that the two could walk the rest of the steps up to their house.

"Where is everyone?" Peter said looking a little hurt that the entire family was not there to greet him.

"Susan is working, Edmund is at a friend's house and mother is out shopping," Lucy said picking up one of Peter's bags and helping him carry it upstairs.

"Well don't I feel unloved…" Peter said with a pout that made Lucy smile.

"It's better this way," Lucy said as they reached Peter's room. "I needed to talk to you alone anyway." Peter raised his eye brow at her. Lucy wanted to blurt everything out and get right to the point but knew that she needed to at least try and explain the current situation.

"Unpack first," Lucy said with a smile. "No point getting serious the second you get home." Peter gave her a suspicious look before turning and unpacking.

"How does Susan like her job?" Peter asked putting his shirts away.

"I think she secretly hates it. I heard her mumble something about being a Queen and it being beneath her," Lucy said with a smile. "I think she just likes having new people to take care of, and the spare pounds don't hurt either." Peter smiled at this.

"That sounds like Su. Some times if I didn't know better I would swear she is the oldest," Peter hung up his trousers.

"Well she is now in her own way," Lucy quipped. "With you off at college she is the oldest." Peter stuck his tongue out at her.

"Rub it in why don't you?" Lucy just gave her brother a big innocent smile saying she had no idea what he was talking about. Inside she was laughing. She had missed her big brother a lot more than she had realized until now. It was good to have him home.

"So Ed finally made friends?" Peter said with a laugh. "Who would have thought? I guess that means the world is coming to an end," Peter stopped unpacking to turn and wave at Lucy. "Quick! Under the desk! It will protect us!"

Lucy fell over laughing as she watched Peter dash across the room and squat under his desk.

"Too much?" Peter asked crawling out from under his desk.

Lucy scrunched her thumb and pointer finger together. "Just a little." Peter smiled and shrugged, clearly feeling that his joke was worth it.

"Well I am officially unpacked and you are now obligated to explain yourself," Peter said, taking on a mock regal tone, he even went so far as to point at her and look down his nose. Lucy smiled, and then she remembered what they needed to talk about and her smile fell.

"Eustace sent us a package…" Lucy began tentatively. Peter made no motion to rush her; he could tell this was important.

"He went back." Lucy said with and exhausted sigh. _This is harder than I thought. _"Eustace saw Him."

Lucy, like the other Pevensie children, had taken to calling Caspian "Him" over the past few years. It was a habit they had adopted when Susan had still been reeling from the loss of Narnia. And after that they had found saying his name aloud made the loss of Narnia so much more real and raw for all of them. It was opening a wound that had not yet healed.

Peter was rubbing his face with worry. He hadn't spoken yet. Lucy knew that over the years he had gotten better at waiting for his little sister to compose her thoughts, although his patience was more of an occurrence around Susan rather than Lucy.

"Eustace says…" Lucy gulped, feeling the tears well in her eyes, "Eustace says that…that…that he's dead."

Peter looked up at her from between his fingers with a kind of cold frozen stare. The look that only came after an extreme shock or disheartening news. This was both.

"How?" Was all that came from Peter's lips.

"Old age apparently," Lucy said biting back tears.

"Wife?" Peter said with an audible gulp. Lucy knew that Peter had been secretly hoping that Caspian never married so he would never have to break that news to Susan.

"Eustace met his son, Rilian," Lucy watched at as cold feeling settled over Peter. That was his middle name, something their mother had come up with. Peter had never told any one in Narnia.

"Who would have told him that?" Peter said still in his frozen state.

"Edmund and I didn't tell him…" Lucy said, not wanting to say that she suspected Susan as the traitor.

Peter had always hated his middle name. It was something of a family joke. But then again they all had odd middle names. Curtsies of their creative mother.

"There's more…" Lucy pulled the thick envelopes out of her jumper pocket and handed them to Peter. "Eustace said these were His last request."

Peter reached out hesitantly, like touching the paper itself would make of this so much more real and painful. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Peter took the letters.

Lucy had memorized the envelopes already. There were four. Each addressed to one of them in a large cursive script that Lucy recognized to be Caspian's writing. She had debated opening all of them, but they were wax sealed and knew the others would be upset if they found out she had opened something addressed to them.

The giant red seals had taunted her. It was the design of the Telmarine King, but it had changed. The starburst remained but flowers, like the ones in Lucy and Susan's crowns, circled it. This change had bothered Lucy the most. _Why the flowers? Was it His way of embracing Narnia? If it was, why not use the designs from Peter's crown? _

Lucy watched as Peter, one by one, turned each over in his hands, inspecting them.

"What do you think is in them?" Peter said after a moment.

"I don't know. Eustace said it was odd. He said that Caspian was acting odd," Lucy looked down at her hands, not sure what else to do.

"How so?" Peter said fingering the seal on his letter. There was a longing in his voice. Lucy could see that Peter was being taken back to Narnia.

"He said something to Eustace about seeing all of us very soon."

* * *

Peter's head shot up looking at Lucy is shock. He just stared at his little sister. It was an odd feeling to be the older brother and so often rely on a little sister for help. Over the years he had come to understand that his sister had some kind of hidden knowledge that he would never have access to. This was one of the moments. He felt confused but Lucy seemed to look pleased with this new information.

Maybe he would never understand things the way Lucy did.

* * *

"I think we should open them," Lucy said with a flourish. She was done waiting. She grabbed her letter out from Peter's hands and ripped open the seal.

Her breath caught when she saw the large script covered not one, but two full pages. Lucy felt her eyes water reading the first words.

**_Dear Queen Lucy the Valiant and my truest friend…._**

* * *

Peter watched his sister tear at her letter before he reluctantly picked up his. This was Caspian's dying wish, to give them all some kind of letter. Peter looked at his skeptically before he finally pulled the seal open.

**_Dear King Peter Rilian Pevensie the Magnificent (yes I know your secret)……_**

Peter would have been angry if he wasn't so heartbroken to read what he knew had to have been some of Caspian's last words.

* * *

**_Never let the world jade you from what truly makes you the valiant queen you are. Life is the most beautiful gift. Live every moment completely. Keep painting. Never be afraid to show the world your gifts._**

Lucy could feel the tears pouring down her face, and for once in a long time she didn't care that she was crying.

* * *

**_For once in your life stop worrying about the others. I promise you Susan will be just fine. Edmund can take care of himself. And honestly, when did Lucy ever really need guidance. Stop being the protector and start being yourself. Live your life and not theirs just this once._**

Peter felt an odd sense of relief at these words. Maybe growing old truly did give you real wisdom, because Caspian was saying the things that had been in his mind for so many years now.

* * *

**_Susan will be just fine. She is going to get married and have so many kids she will lose count. She will be perfectly happy. I have seen it._**

Lucy smiled knowing that Caspian was speaking from personal experience. She wasn't sure how. But He had said they would be together, and Lucy believed that in some way they already were.

_Time is such a fickle thing, but faith is unwavering._

* * *

**_Please give Susan her letter. I know you are worried about what it might say, but I promise you it's exactly what she needs to hear._**

Peter wished he could yell back at Caspian, tell the King that there was no way he was risking it. But Caspian was dead and Peter had to settle for crumpling the paper.

* * *

Edmund came home to find the house almost silent, which was the first sign that something was up. The Pevensie children were not the silent type. What he found was not something Edmund would have expected.

Lucy was silently crying in Peter's room. Peter lay on his bed with a crumpled piece of paper on his face.

"Who died?" Edmund said with a laugh, wanting to lighten up the mood. Lucy burst into real tears and Peter looked very much like he might join her.

"Caspian," Lucy said between sobs. A ton of bricks landed on Edmund and he felt his body slide to the floor.

"Old age…" Peter said finally sitting up. He held out a thick envelope to Edmund. "This one is for you." Edmund nodded his head; he didn't have to be told twice.

It felt surreal to hold Narnia parchment in his hand again, to see a wax seal. _You knew this was coming soon, the time lines dictated it,_ Edmund told himself. He pulled the seal away to find not a long letter, but a short, to the point note.

_Edmund, STOP THINKING! You are wasting what is left. You know the time lines are moving toward this. You need to live while you still can. Susan will be taken care of. Don't try and explain what you know to the others, you cannot change it even if you try. Don't take for granted what you have left. I will see you in Aslan's country._

_Caspian._

To other's a longer note might have had more feeling. But the directness. The understanding. Caspian had confirmed his concerns and for some reason that had more of an impact on Edmund than any drawn out letter ever could.

Edmund had noticed that it looked as if a major turning point was about to happen in both time lines. Now he knew for sure, and he also knew the ending was not a completely happy one. Some how that made him feel numb more than anything else.

"He really is gone," was all Edmund said as he sat on Peter's floor.

None of them spoke. There was still one letter left.

It sat in the center of the room and all of them looked at it. This one letter could be a big help or a big problem.

* * *

It was late when Susan finally got home. Her hands were raw and her knees scrapped. She felt worse today than she had even after that battle.

And yet she kept working. _Why?_ She wondered. _Because doing this makes you remember you are stuck here. Because beating up your body is a good reminder you are no longer a Queen._

The house was dark. The only light came from the kitchen. She headed that way.

They were there, all three of them sitting. Susan wanted to race over and hug her big brother. But something in the silence stopped her. _Something's not right._

"It's for you," Peter said, tilting his head toward an envelope on the table.

Her breath caught.

She knew that paper.

She knew that seal.

She loved that handwriting.

Her hands trembled.

**_ Now it's going to get harder and it's going to burn brighter and it's going to feel tougher each and every day, So let me say that i love you. You're all I've ever wanted all I've ever dreamed of. I will love you with my entire being, even now as I go to Aslan's country. You will always be the most perfect thing in my life._**

**_See you soon._**

**_Your Caspian._**

That was it. But it was more than she could have hoped for. It was perfect.

Susan smiled. Tears fell.

Peter sighed, relieved.

Lucy smiled.

Edmund smiled.

Susan smiled, truly. _Faith is unwavering._

* * *

Hi readers! Thank you all for waiting so long for this chapter. Life got really out of control for a while and work took over all of my spare time. The doctors have started to say that the cancer might be winning. So as you might have guessed my dad came first.

Few things to clear up! Remember that the England and Narnia timelines do not match up. Susan is moved back in time. I hope its not too confusing. This is my final farewell chapter. The next will be Caspian, followed be the train crash.

Quote is from I Will Believe by Nicole Nordeman. The song is a Christian one based on the first movie. But I felt that it really worked for this chapter. Because yes, Edmund does know that they are all going to die. I felt it would be something that he would some how figure out. So he is again tempting fate.

Please review!

Love -E


	14. Our Last Scene

AN: For this chapter I used the lyrics from the song Movies by Alien Ant Farm. To make your reading experience fuller and more emotional, please find this song on youtube and play it while you read. That is the way I intended it to be read.

So get the tissues ready because here it is.

* * *

In our short years, we've come a long way.

* * *

Caspian had been afraid of the dark since that time two years ago, when the men had chased him in to the forest. He knew it was a silly fear, but a trauma like that didn't just leave a person because it was silly.

He had gotten into the habit of keeping a torch in his room all night. It was something to keep the nightmares away. It bothered him that even as king he was afraid of a lot of things. He was afraid of the dark. He was afraid of failing. He was afraid that he would some how mess this up.

But tonight he didn't light a torch. He was going to bare with his stupid fear. Tonight he needed to be strong.

He sat, alone, silently in the black hall of Cair Paravel.

And now...the deadline.

In exactly one hour the height of night would occur and a new day would begin.

_Today they die. Today she comes back to me._

Caspian sat in one of the reconstructed thrones, Peter's to be exact. It was stiff, but then most thrones were. It was almost surreal to sit in the throne that had once belonged to the High King.

He looked to his left at the two empty thrones on that side, on his right sat one.

He hadn't had the heart to rebuild Cair Paravel short two thrones; it was always meant to have four. To his right was Edmund's throne. To his left was Susan's and Lucy's thrones.

Caspian just stared out into the nothingness. _What does one do when they wait for something like this?_

_I can't seriously wait all day here._ Caspian thought looking at the empty hall. He had cancelled everything for the next month. There would be no events. No balls. No meetings, only silence.

_I have a month to do my best to make Susan happy again before life will start again. _Caspian rubbed his face, feeling lost. _I don't think I can do this._

Caspian sighed.

Paws scraped the floor in front of Caspian.

"You are here early my king," Aslan said softly.

"I wanted to be here," Caspian had yet to look up. He glanced at the throne to his left through his fingers, a pang forming in his chest.

Caspian finally looked up at Aslan. He had not seen the lion since that day two years ago. It had been in the very same spot, only now the castle really did exist in all its glory. He looked older, and sad. Caspian knew that he must look just as distraught and ragged.

"It will not happen until the afternoon. You should rest Caspian," Aslan said. Caspian just shook his head.

"I want to wait, I need to," He said looking forlorn.

* * *

And just like the movies, we played out our last scene.

* * *

"How many tickets will you be needing?" The woman behind the counter asked Peter.

"Four please," Peter replied pulling out his wallet.

"I cannot believe we are seriously doing this," Susan said with a roll of her eyes. "You have been saving that money for so long; you are going to spend it on train tickets?"

They were standing in the train station. It had started yesterday. A man had appeared to them in the living room. And now all of them were going to take the train to the professors. They needed to dig up the rings he had once used. They were called to help Narnia again.

"Su, lay off," Edmund said starching his head. "This is important and you know it. Stop being difficult."

"I am not being difficult. I'm being reasonable," Susan said letting out a sigh of defeat. She was not going to win this one, which was clear. She gave Peter a squinty eyed glare.

"Did you at least leave mom and dad a note or something?"

This time it was Peter's turn to roll his eyes. Susan had been freaking out all morning. Ever since a man claiming to be the King of Narnia had appeared to them in their living room. In the past Susan wouldn't have been this annoying, but recently she had taken to the roll of mother with a passion. Right now she was just worrying.

"Yes Su. Everything is fine here. It's Narnia we need to worry about," Peter said giving his sister a smile. After a second she relaxed.

"This is going to be fun!" Lucy said with a clap after Peter and Susan relaxed.

"What time does the train leave?" Edmund asked looking up at the clock. Peter glanced at the tickets.

"We have an hour before it arrives," Peter replied.

"Right, well I am going to go get some snacks," Edmund said and then wandered off.

* * *

I want you to be free.

* * *

Lucy was practically bursting at the seams. She was so excited it actually hurt.

Narnia needed them again. The only draw back was that she would not be able to help personally. Eustace and Jill would make the trip.

But that didn't really matter. What mattered was that Narnia was still a part of them, they had not lost it. Lucy could not wait to ask Eustace about Aslan.

"Feels good to be needed again," came Susan's voice from Lucy's left. She knew her sister had been feeling a little useless in the past year.

"Yeah it does," Lucy said with a smile.

"I just wish we could go as well," Susan said staring off into the station. Lucy smiled sadly.

"Yeah, me too." They held hands and gave each other sad watery smiles.

Don't worry about me.

"Eustace is late," Peter said pacing in front of the benches.

"Calm down," Edmund said picking at his nails. "Why is every one so tense?"

Edmund knew he should be worried, but since Caspian's letter, he simply didn't want to be worried. He wanted to enjoy things. So he had bought snacks. So he was scribbling in his note book about theories.

He thought he should say something about what was going on. About how it seemed odd what was happening in Narnia. That maybe this was the event he had predicted, but he didn't feel like worrying.

* * *

You won't cry…

* * *

The sun was rising over the glass ceiling in Cair Paravel. Caspian had over the last few hours moved from the throne to the stairs in front of the thrones.

He lay sprawled over the steps, feeling the sharp edges poke him in the back.

"You need to eat something," Trumpkin said with a huff standing over Caspian. "You need sleep and food."

"I can do those later," Caspian said not moving. He had lost all semblance of emotion about three hours ago. Now he was just numb, and he didn't know if he could feel anything ever again.

"When? When she gets here? Will you eat while she cries?" Trumpkin said angrily. "What about when she slips into depression? You need to eat now!"

Caspian turned to look at the dwarf and saw that he was crying in his anger. He felt bad suddenly; he had almost forgotten he was not the only one in pain.

"Just bring me whatever there is," Caspian said, his throat dry.

* * *

….I won't scream.

* * *

Peter heard the announcer call for their train. The loud voice booming over the intercom and at that moment something inside him sunk. It felt like his body wanted him to stay rooted while he desperately wanted on that train.

"That's us," Peter said turning to his siblings. Edmund looked up and nodded. He started stuffing his notebook in his side bag he always carried. Lucy sprang from her seat with a smile. Susan stood up slowly.

She smiled at Peter. "I can't believe this is really happening," she said sounding dazed.

"Me too. But everything is going to be just fine. We are going to help Narnia, together," Peter said squeezing Susan in a side hug.

"Oh look, Eustace is here," Ed said point off to the distance. They could see Eustace and Jill running down the hall waving at them.

* * *

In our short film, a love disgrace…

* * *

Susan felt sad and happy at the same time. It was an odd sensation. Thinking of Narnia without Caspian broke her heart little by little. It had been for a month now. His last words hung in her mind constantly. They promised so much hope, and yet there was little hope that she would see him again.

She was happy to be a part of Narnia again, to be needed and wanted for that matter. It had killed Susan to watch Ed and Lucy return to Narnia. And it had nearly put her into a depression when she found out Eustace had returned as well.

When the man had appeared to them Susan had been distraught. She had begged with Peter that they return. But he had been stubborn as a mule, unwilling to disobey Aslan's words. So instead of sending Peter, the best swordsman; or Susan, the best archer; or Edmund the best fight; or Lucy with her healing cordial; instead they were sending Eustace and Jill. Because Aslan had not told them they could not return.

Susan had wanted to hate Aslan over the years. She had wanted to hate him for not letting her come back. She had wanted to hate him for taking her away from the one man she had ever truly been interested in.

In the end she couldn't even seem to dislike the lion. _He died to save my brother, to save all of us._

* * *

Dream a scene to brighten face.

* * *

He was pacing now. Unable to hold back the agony of what was going to happen. It was like being ripped apart from the inside. Feeling completely helpless was not something Caspian experienced often. He was king; he had more power than he knew what to do with.

But in this moment he was completely helpless. He could do nothing. Nothing.

The sun had reached its peak.

"When?" was all Caspian could say. He looked up at the lion standing at the end of the hall. He knew he was crying but he wasn't ashamed.

"Soon," Came Aslan's voice. The tears began a new.

* * *

In our short years we come long way.

* * *

Peter stood on the platform with the others, the train was running late.

"Where is it?" Peter asked pacing. "We need to get there!" Peter simply didn't like the way this day was turning out.

"I'm sure everything is fine," Susan said, always the voice of reason. "They probably had a long stop at the last station."

Peter relaxed a little. He needed to stop worrying. Sure, there was a problem in Narnia. But hadn't Caspian told him to stop trying to be the protector and just be himself.

He looked over at Susan to see that she was talking with Lucy and smiling. She was getting better. It had taken a few years, but it seemed like maybe she might be ready to move on with her life.

Peter sighed tapping his foot waiting. He really had no patience what so ever.

Then he heard it.

A screech of metal.

In that moment horror filled him.

* * *

To treat it bad…..

* * *

Susan had stepped forward on the plat form, noticing the arriving train. She was ready to go, ready to get on the train and get to the professors.

Then came the noise. It was blood chilling.

In that moment she was rooted to the ground, unable to make herself move, even as the train veered off course and straight towards her.

* * *

…just to throw it away.

* * *

Edmund was speaking with Lucy.

"I wonder how Susan will take this," She said gazing off at their sister as she walked towards the front of the platform.

Then came the screech.

In that moment he knew, it had come. The end had arrived.

* * *

I want you to be free

* * *

Lucy heard it. A sound, a screech. But she didn't look, couldn't look.

Her gaze was riveted on Susan. The world slowed, and in horror Lucy watched the train rocket at her sister.

* * *

Don't worry about me.

* * *

He saw it. Saw the train coming for her. Saw it as if in slow motion. Every breath was slowed.

In that slow motion, in that heart beat Peter did the only thing he had done all his life, protect his sister.

He had already been moving. He hadn't even realized.

In a breath, a heart beat, he was beside her. Pushing her, forcing her out of the way.

In his next breath he sighed, she was safe.

In the breath after that it hit him.

* * *

And just like the movies….

* * *

The end. It was here._ Save them._ He sprung. Grabbed Lucy, pulling her away from the mass of train. Out of the danger.

He watched in slow steady horror, Peter flung into the air by force. Susan thrown to the side.

Drag Lucy, get out. Save them.

There was a crunch, a rumble. Edmund wrapped his body around Lucy.

A heart beat later the rubble fell.

* * *

….We play out our last scene.

* * *

It hit. He flew. Susan slid.

_Aslan._

She was pulled. Edmund grabbed her. The crunch. The rumble. The stones fell.

_Aslan._

* * *

You wont cry….

* * *

He felt the wind leave him. Felt the crunch of his bones. Saw his blood spill from his mouth.

The pain never came.

He watched till the last breath. Needed to know she was safe, that it was not in vain.

Before his eyes she vanished, fading into the magic.

The pain never came.

In that last moment he knew. Knew she was going back. _Everything will be fine now._

* * *

…I wont scream.

* * *

Susan watched in horror.

The train. Peter.

She was sliding, away from him. Away from the train.

He flew through the air.

A tug pulled her.

_No…_

Edmund was running.

The tug pulled harder.

_No…_

They were trapped, the stones were falling.

The tug gripped her.

_NO!_

In that moment the world disappeared. She was consumed in nothingness. The tug pulled her backwards, through space, through time.

Her only thought. _NO!_

* * *

And just like the movies….

* * *

Edmund felt the crush. Air left his body. His bones snapped.

The pain never came.

His body crumbled.

The pain never came.

He last thought._ It will be nice to go home again._

* * *

…We play out our last scene.

* * *

Lucy saw them falling. Felt Edmund brace above her.

Saw his body slowly crumble under the force.

_Aslan…_

He couldn't hold it off her, he collapsed. Then the force hit her. Constricted her air, took it away from her.

_Aslan…_

The pressure increased. Her bones shattered.

The pain never came.

Her last thought. _Aslan._

* * *

I want you to be free, don't worry about me.

* * *

Caspian was ready. He stood, waiting. He had hopped there would be a warning, but there was none.

One moment the room was empty save for him and Aslan. The next Susan was on the floor in front of her throne.

"NNNOO!" She screamed.

He rushed forward. Pulled her into his arms, grasped her with all his might.

She continued screaming.

"PETER! NO! EDMUND! NO! LUCY!" She screamed.

Her tears stained him. Her cries brought Trumpkin running. He cried when he saw her.

"NO! NO! NO! NOOO!"

She pounded his chest in anguish. Caspian gripped her tighter, unwilling to let her go. Her fists branded him.

"NOOOOOOO!"

Still she screamed. For hours, for days. Still he held her. Still she cried, and he held her even tighter.

Finally, an eternity later, her screams stopped. Her tears stopped. She lay unconscious in his arms.

Caspian pulled her closer to him, her head in his neck. And then for the first time since she appeared he cried in honest.

"I'm sorry," his voice cracked.

* * *

You wont cry, I wont scream.

* * *

Hi readers. Hope you didn't have to use the whole box of tissues.

This chapter is one I have been planning in my head since the beginning. I am really happy about how it came out.

For those of you interested some very lovely people have made lots of fanart in relation to this story. If you would like to view it please go to www . Caspian and Susan . com (take out the spaces. It wont let me put the link directly on this page.) Then go to the forum. Go to the area that says Fan Art, in that area there should be a thread called Being Reasonable Needs art. There you can find avatars, banners and wallpapers all relating to scenes from this story.

For this chapter I would like to thank my perfect boyfriend Chris. When my dad had life threatening surgery and almost didn't make it, he was the one thing that got me through the day. His actions and love are the inspiration for the second half of this story.

I also want to thank my beta Sami, and the two lovely girls making all the art for me; bluebabby and cephisso.

Don't forget to review and rate!

Love -E


	15. Letter from the Author

Dear Loyal and Faithful Readers,

I really am so sorry that it has been so long since I last posted a new chapter for Being Reasonable.

As most of you know my dad is battling cancer and this past month has been on of the worst in a while. The cancer is back, he has had several infections, and just this past week was rushed to the hospital when he stopped breathing.

As some of you can guess I have not been in the best spirits. My therapist and my doctor are talking about putting me on some anti-depressants. I spend most of my days taking care of my dad and trying to help my mom out, who has become extremely depressed recently.

I made a choice to put writing on hold and spend this last few weeks with my family and try to get things in order before I go to school.

This weekend I will return to college. Shortly after my sorority has rush, which will consume most of my time.

After all of that is over I will sit down and finish the next chapter and get back to writing. I hope that all of your are willing to wait. I understand if this may cause some of you to stop reading or put Being Reasonable on the back burner. But personally my family and my own personal mental health come first.

Thank you all for loving my story. It has given me motivation when I thought I had none.

Sincerely,

-E


	16. Numb

Where are we? What the hell is going on? The dust has only just begun to fall. Crop circles in the carpet, Sinking feeling. Spin me around again and rub my eyes. This can't be happening. When busy streets a mess with people, would stop to hold their heads heavy

* * *

It's amazing what the body can do. The kind of pain and grief it can withstand. The searing agonizing pain that makes you think you will die from it, and yet you live.

You live trapped in a body the refuses to stop fighting, but you have given up.

Your heart has stopped, and yet it beats. You air is gone and yet you breath. You close your eyes, praying for it to be gone, praying to not be left behind. You pray to join them, pray for it to be different. But no one hears you. No one can fix it.

You should have known that no one would answer. No one has answered in years.

No one answered when you prayed to return. No one answered when you asked for guidance. You have been alone, and now you are truly alone.

Some times you feel nothing, and the numbness consumes you. You feel nothing. You are and empty shell.

Other times you scream.

Other times you sob.

And yet you go on living.

He is always there with you. By your side.

He holds your hand as you sob. He muffles your screams into his chest. He carries you when you are numb.

He picks up the spoon and feeds you when you no longer care to keep living.

He sits by your side as you sleep. He stands on the other side of the screen as bathe. He never leaves your side.

In the night you hear him, the others want him to do something different something more.

"It's been a month Your Majesty, perhaps it is time that you leave the Queen's care to some one else. You have a country to run."

You're a Queen?

Its possible, the pain makes you forget. Some times you even forget why the pain is there, but then you see their faces in your mind and you remember and wish you had forgotten.

"I am running Narnia just fine so far. She is not the only one grieving. All of Narnia is grieving."

Not like you are, not like this.

"Caspian, we have to do something."

"Trumpkin, if you are going to be angry about this than leave. I have a duty to Susan and to all of Narnia."

Caspian… That name sounds familiar. It reminds you of a happy dream you had.

In a whisper you hear the words that save you, that in the light of day will wake you, will heal you in time. He speaks them to you each night.

"I love you."

* * *

You know you need sleep. You know you need to eat. But you simply cant leave her.

She needs you.

Her tears stain your clothes.

Her pain is your pain. Her screams are your screams.

You have both lost the only family you have ever known. Your old wounds have been reopened. You bleed sluggishly as old pain begins anew.

Her pain is fresh. New wounds gush endlessly.

Her blue eyes have turned red from tears.

You feel weak to your bones.

Your advisors want you to move, want you to make choices, want you to leave her. But you can't. You love her.

In the night while she sleeps you confess.

"I love you."

She sleeps on.

But in the light of day she will return.

* * *

Hi readers,

Sorry I have been gone for so long. Chances are there will be lots of these long breaks in the future of this story. The doctors have told us there is nothing else they can do. At this point we are praying that the morphine will help.

I wrote this quickly, because it came to me.

Quote from Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap.

Please review.

Love

E


	17. Not Your Concern

I am not your concern; the world will still turn when I'm not around.

* * *

Caspian was having the strangest dream. He was standing on what look like solid ground but if he looked far off he could see was looked like clouds. All he could see for miles was lush grassland. But he was alone in the dream or at leas he was until…

"'Bout time you got here!" Came a voice from behind him. Caspian spun to find King Edmund looking a little upset. Edmund was wearing was looked like Narnia clothes, except he was carrying that strange bag from his world.

"Sleep deprivation is not a good thing for a King! How are you supposed to care for Susan if you can barely take care of yourself?" Peter had appeared already enraged. Peter looked older than the last time Caspian had seen him.

"Peter, seriously! How can you still have a temper up here?" Lucy appeared looking upset at her brother. All of them looked healthy and in the prime of life. They were all yelling at each other about something he simply was not sure.

Their banter continued for a few minutes before Caspian raised his hand in confusion.

"I have a question, what's going on? How are you here?"

"It's a dream; we can talk to you in dreams." Edmund said it matter of fact kind of way. "Or rather we are able to enter your mind when you enter REM sleep," There was a pause as everyone turned to look at Edmund. "Well that is the science of it, we can talk to you when you have dreams."

"And we would have gotten here sooner had you slept more!" Peter was looking exasperated. He was throwing his arms in the air to exaggerate the statement.

"What Peter is trying to say is that we are worried about you and Susan," said Lucy smiling at Caspian.

"We have been trying to talk to Susan but she isn't listening. She doesn't want to believe we are gone," Edmund shrugged. "But we are and we are fine with that. Heaven is way better."

"No one seems to get that," smiled Lucy shaking her head like she was dealing with some small child that didn't understand.

"It hurts to say this but we really are happy here, and we want you and Susan to be happy as well," Peter said looking vaguely like he had gas.

Caspian was still a befuddled.

"Look the point is you need to help Susan move forward with her life," Peter said with a huff. "Even if I still don't like the looks of the future."

"Stop being a prude," mumbled Edmund.

"I'm confused," Caspian said twisting his face.

"We need you to wake up….

* * *

"Wake up, Caspian, WAKE UP!" Trumpkin shouted.

Caspian leaped back in his chair, falling over in the process. He had fallen asleep at his desk and he could feel the print from the book smeared on his face.

"I'm up," Caspian mumbled as he rubbed the back of his head.

"You have a meeting in five minutes with the Lords to talk about the expansion of the town surrounding Cair Pairavel." Trumpkin informed Caspian as he got up and made his way out of the room.

"And the Queen?" Caspian said wearily as he wiped the ink off his face.

"She is in the garden with a few of the griffins. It's their turn to keep watch," Trumpkin hurried along beside Caspian. "The mice reported earlier that the Queen looked much better and seemed to be able to hold a conversation without breaking down."

"That's good," Caspian said has he turned left into the great hall. "When I am finished here I will go see her."

The doors to the great hall closed behind Caspian and for the first time in a very long time he felt like the weight of the world was not resting on his shoulders.

* * *

In Loving Memory of

Albert Louis Giannotti Jr.

5/10/1948- 11/21/08

I miss you daddy.


	18. Lift Your Head

Mama said lift your head from the sieve of your hand, Mama said eventually this hurting will end.

* * *

"The griffin's told me a joke the other day." Susan said.

Caspian whipped around. They were sitting outside in the garden memorial, like they did every day. It was a sprawling garden designed around a painting that had been recovered that Lucy had done when she was Queen. At the center stood three pillars, each inscribed with poems and memorials for each of the fallen Pevensie children.

Caspian didn't have a lot of time to sit with Susan but he made time every day. It was hard on him, it hurt to be with her but it hurt more to be away. She had stopped crying all the time. Now she sat empty most days.

It had eaten at him, this giant black hole that had consumed his soul while he waited for her to recover. The ache to do something but the power to do nothing. It drained him and strained him and made him doubt everything he ever knew. He grieved as well but silently inside himself, terrified that if he ever let the waves lose he would be swept up in the tide and unable to get back to shore.

He did not have the luxury to deal with the pain. He was so dedicated to not only saving his country, but more importantly saving Susan. He thought he had loved her, thought he could handle this, that he was strong enough. Now he wasn't so sure. The agony of it all crushed him. Sometimes he thought 'I cant do this. I am only one man. I am not responsible for the weight of the world.'

Then he would see her. The weight would fall away and suddenly, every time he saw her, he knew he really did love her and that it really was worth every moment of pain. She was the one person in any existence that was meant for him, he would do everything in his power to make her whole again.

But up until now nothing had seemed to get through. Every day her eyes were hallow and she was a shell. Nothing roused her. He was losing faith.

And then this.

"What was the joke?" Caspian asked tentatively.

"Horses." Susan said with a slight crook of her mouth. Caspian blinked.

"That's it?"

"Yes." Susan said with what look like a real smile, her eyes sparkled for a fraction of a second. Suddenly Caspian laughed, the first real laugh in a long time. Susan just sat there and smiled at him.

"I've missed you." Caspian said with a sad smile as he came down his fit of giggles.

"I missed you too." Susan said softly. "I am thinking I should stick around, you know. Help you rule this country and everything."

Caspian scouted closer to her on the bench. She turned to him now, she still looked hallow, empty. But at the same time her face wasn't slack in grief, rather it look almost like he remembered.

"I am rather terrible on my own." Caspian said with a quirk.

"You really are, you have no sense of Narnian traditions. And your politics are a complete mess." Susan now had an honest smile. "Don't even get me started about the border polices you have been implementing."

"I have literally no idea what I am doing." Caspian said with a wider smile. "I am a complete failure."

"Well not a failure, but defiantly a disappointment." Susan brushed her hair out of her face. "I think I need to start going with you to the senate and state meetings if we are to ever fix the damage you have done."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." Caspian replied. It felt like coming home to have Susan tease him. She might have teased him much in the past, but it felt good. In that moment he knew that Susan was going to pull through, that no matter what happened she was going to be all right.

* * *

Boo!

So here is what happened:

Me: its been a long time since I wrote Being Reasonable, I don't know if I care anymore. Just in case I don't ever write any more I will put something simple up for the fans.

Fan group one: we love you! Its okay we understand!

Fan group two: WE DO NOT ACCEPT!

Fan group three: just found this story! So great!

Me: well I suppose…..

There you have it ladies and gentleman. I wrote a new chapter. Short but new. Thus the switch back to incomplete.

Song- Beggar's Prayer by Emilina Torrini

-E


	19. End

"You smiled." Caspian said trying to hold back his joy. "Can I take that as a yes." He tried not to cry when tears spilled out of Susan's eyes, he promised himself he was going to stay on his knee until she said yes for real.

"Yes, I'll marry you." She managed to get out before he jumped up from his position and squeezed her nearly to death.

Susan was trying to breath but Caspian wouldn't stop kissing her and that was constricting her ability to get air into her lungs. When he finally relented she looked over his shoulder to see something simmering. There off in the field just barely she could make out what look like Lucy jumping up and down and Peter giving Edmund a high five. She blinked and then it was gone. But in the moments that passed afterwards she knew for sure that it was fine, that the world was going to be fine and she had finally found that happy place just for her.

"We have to go tell the council!" Caspian said suddenly. "If I don't tell them soon they are going to smack me for making them wait, they have been on pins and needles for weeks about this."

"You told the council?"

"Well some one had to help me get all the animals to set up this arrangement." Caspian motioned towards the glowing field covered in flowers in bloom.

"Lets go tell the world." Susan said with perhaps the largest smile she had worn since the last time she was queen.

"Okay, but as soon as we are done you are all mine." Caspian swooped in for another breath stealing kiss.

* * *

Hey peoples.

This was the ending I put up way back when and then took down and made a go at starting this back up again. That didn't really happen for those of you who have been with me from the start. I finished the first draft of my original novel and am much more dedicated to that. I have a blog on tumblr if you feel the need to keep up with me. bookbabble(.)tumblr(.)com. I am sorry about all of this. I really did love writing this story at one point but I have put it behind me. My childhood died around the time this story stopped being updated and I can't find that wonder again that originally promoted this.

I would like to thank everyone that ever reviewed. You helped me realize that I was good enough to write something. I would put a lot of getting around to doing my novel on your support. If I get publish I will be sure to tell you.

Thanks guys. -E


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